we just tell onlookers that we are auditioning for Lord of the Rings.

farewell rarotonga

list o' seven why i'm in heaven

1. being greeted by the happiest ukelele player i've ever seen, who belted out his songs with complete disregard for the important messages being read over the airport loudspeakers
2. riding around the island on a red scooter with the number plate RAD 975. dev and i give nods to our fellow bikers, like we are all part of some local bike gang - a.k.a: another dream come true.
3. being simultaneously fascinated and terrified of the large fish that circled around us in the lagoon. thinking 'don't eat me'. and then thinking, it would be fair for them to do so since we've been devouring freshly caught yellow fin tuna since we got here.
4. attempting to crack open a coconut and getting it's juice all over the sand, ourselves, and the innocent bystanders.
5. late afternoon guitar playing, dev patiently teaching me harmonies, both of us singing all the wrong words.
6. holding a musical devotional at the baha'i center and learning songs in cook islands maori. the love in the room was palpable.
7. not ever caring what time it is.


list o' things to bring on my next pacific island adventure

1. sunscreen
2. insect repellent
3. towel
4. snacks
5. um. COMMON SENSE :)


soul-snapshot

with a twinkle in his eyes he hugs me tight and declares that i have a tendency to be feisty. likens me to the family german shepherd - sasha. and as i pretend to be insulted, i know he's right. like her, i'm vulnerable, i've been hurt, scars have remained that refuse to evaporate. yes, i'm a sucker for attention. devotion. love. loyalty. and feisty she is. open the front door and she bolts. complete disregard for the electric fence, she'll deal with the painful zap if it means freedom. that was me once upon a time. fiercely craving my independence, not wanting to compromise, feeling like the consequences were inconsequential. doing what i wanted to do felt both liberating and painful. i knew it was wrong. unfair. unwarranted. but my pride would stop me from turning around, until i had to. and it's ironic really, that the person who always wanted to leave, finally was resolutely left behind. i'm reminded of a time last winter, when beaten down, cold and shivering from a night of rain, sasha returned, head down, tail between her legs. she slept all day. she knew she had caused alarm so now she was staying under the radar. we were grateful she was safe, but furious with the panic she'd left in her wake. and that cycle is exhausting. and after enough times, you are just tired of chasing.
i recognize i'm no longer 'that' person, but i'm still me. and it's this 'me' that we all carry around. no matter who you are with. or where you are. or what you're doing. it's a constant companion. here, on this speck of land in the middle of the pacific, i'm realizing that i've quelled the runner in me. i no longer feel this clamor in my heart to bolt or take flight. i'm happy to accompany, to walk hand-in-hand, to enjoy in unison. it no longer feels suffocating or limiting. it feels safe and calm. and though that spark is there - flash lightning on a sunny day - it's never a good enough reason to hurt a heart.

all mapped out.

we leave in a handful of hours.

i'm so excited but it also doesn't feel real because right now i'm sitting in andy's living room figuring out soulpancake content for next week and doing a load of laundry. devon hasn't even showered or packed or eaten benito's super nachos (which i know is highest on his agenda).

we've planning this trip since may and now it's finally here. once i'm sitting on the plane, shoes off, socks on, hoodie zipped up (i strive for coziness on planes), then i'm sure it will hit home. and then i'll be too excited to sleep. gah!

our first stop is the cook islands. my plan is to do nothing but lie in warm sand listen to the waves. and eat lots of fresh fruit. and ride mopeds. and go on jungle adventures.

i will also be singing this song a lot because it's stuck in my head.

and in the words of my dearest sister, ashley ludwin, lehhssss go. :)

if this doesn't make your day, then there is no hope for you

two things you shouldn't go without: seatbelts and tethering.

my kind of love note

fort-love-fest

if you haven't built a fort out of furniture, you haven't really lived. i love forts so much that i want to screenprint t-shirts that say 'make forts, not war'.

here's a tribute to fantastic forts which was inspired by Booooooom and their Where the Wild Things Are fort creating contest. all these pictures below are submissions to the contest.

kinda makes you wanna dismantle your couch doesn't it?

list o' lovelies

1. business cards made out of cereal boxes
2. today i bought a kodak instamatic camera with the hopes that one fine day i can take photographs like this
3. a blog that's perfect for procastinators
4. this might be a step up from balloon animals at the fair
5. learn something everyday

coconuts looming

as i was reading about the cook islands (where we'll be in 10 days!), i found this helpful/hilarious information:

Skimpy clothing anywhere else than on the beach can cause offense and topless is also somewhat frowned upon. The missionaries did a good job here! Coconuts sometimes do fall from trees, always look up first and make sure none of them are looming high above you before taking a nap or sunbath. Getting hit by one will certainly spoil your trip!

preparation is everything, right?