Wednesday, March 26, 2008

one week wiser?

in the last week i have:

a) decided that i really want to start whittling wood as a hobby. maybe not 'whittling' per se but carving. i want to start with spoons and then maybe work towards a bowl. when i was about six or seven i found a thick twig and i smoothed it with sandpaper and grated it against the asphalt until it had a pointed end. my six-year-old imagination declared that it was a magical pen. i still have this odd piece of wood somewhere amongst all my things.

b) converted a dryer with a three prong power cord to a four prong power cord. this was no easy feat and it didn't help to know that if i messed up i would electrocute myself and most probably die. that's a lot of pressure. i took off the three prong cord and then conducted a two hour mission around nashville today to find a place that would sell a four prong cord. i found out that these 'cords' are actually called 'pig tails' in the 'industry'. i also found out that walking into a hardware store in heels does nothing for your credibility. this annoyed me.

with marabeth cheering me on, her brother on speaker phone telling us the history of electricity (actually he was super helpful and very patient), and holley searching the web and finding all sorts of contradictory advice, i attempted to piece it all together. there was lots of confusion and forehead-banging against the back of the dryer. but the end result? dryer works. i'm alive. so it's a win win.

c) decided to no longer text and drive. hands are at ten-to-two on the steering wheel. and nashville's roads are much safer.

d) made a conscious effort to drink more h2O.

e) not gotten enough sleep.

f) learned how to install a peep hole.

g) learned that maz is somewhat OCD and she will probably never get over the fact that the peep hole is not centered.

h) missed new zealand more than usual

i) eaten an inordinate amount of little lad's popcorn

j) decided i want to buy a drill and a real toolbox

k) been humbled by the request to be a godparent

l) considered being a vegetarian again

summer is lying on my back on freshly cut grass looking up at clouds in a blue sky

and listening to this on repeat

Monday, March 24, 2008

not a fan of

- the buzzing sound that electrical appliances make. in fact, 'not a fan' is a gross understatement. the sound really disturbs me. i can hear it as an undercurrent to all the other noises in the room. i want to invent a line of appliances that are completely silent. so silent not even dogs can hear them. or bats.

- hard cover books. they look good on shelves but they are annoying to hold and read. unless they are totally worn in.

- regular supermarkets. whole foods has spoiled me. i can spend hours there. and i do.

- certain fonts. if you write to me in 'comic sans' i think it might be a deal breaker.

- fussy eaters. if you say something has 'too much flavor' i might give you daggers. sorry.

- luke warm showers. (maz and i spent our first night here dismantling our hot water tank in order to figure out how to turn up the heat. it was amazing no one was electrocuted in the process since we had NO idea what we were doing). now we are professionals. i love learning how to do stuff like that. so next time i can be all 'turn off the breakers and hand me a flat head. i'll take care of it'.

- incense.

- air conditioning. if open windows is an option then it's the only way to go.

in other news i watched this commercial where people got into these plastic bubble things and they rolled down a hill. i really need to incorporate this activity into 2008.

Sunday, March 23, 2008

best perk of new home?


NO zillapedes.

haven




refused to use the flash so they are blurry but you get the idea. come for tea. x

Saturday, March 22, 2008

for jen jackrabbit.

new hair in our new house elicits unabashed posing. sorry

the rest of the night...

eating seasoned popcorn in bed equals not-a-good-idea.
but the rest of the popcorn eating population of the world probably already knew this. innately. we had to discover it. i blame the fact that in the last week we've collectively had 13 hours of sleep in sum total. not enough.
*

tomorrow i am getting my hair cut. long overdue. and i'm going to be one of those clients who walks in for a hair cut and says 'i don't want anything taken off the length because i'm growing it'. yep. i'm that person. even I realize how annoying that must be for a stylist to hear. i'm surprised they are gracious enough not to say 'okay well you might want to leave and get back to your all important plan of hair growing. because i have scissors in my hand and my job is to cut hair.'

the look i'm going for is melbourne shag. this could also look like a modified mullet. the line is very thin. i'm hoping jason soltani knows the line.

*

marabeth got my message (the one when i thought i was seconds away from being chopped up and placed in the freezer) and then she got the second message when i told her i was alive and had just yelled at a cop. she walks in and the first thing she says is that she has new gangster names for us which we deserve because in just two days of moving here we have had the police here twice in one night.

complete with a backbeat she told me that from now on i'm ghetto gaz and she is freestylin' maz.

i think she got the better end of that deal.

*

Friday, March 21, 2008

911

Mum - you might want to skip this blog entry for your own peace of mind.

*

leading up to our move to east nashville, marabeth and i received all kinds of unsolicited advice and words of caution. a lot of people still regard this area as very unsafe, and it does have a reputation for being somewhat crime ridden. but that's unfortunately something that goes along with city living and i wasn't going to let that deter me from moving into the urban 'up and coming' part of town.

a week before our move one of my workmates was held up at gunpoint at one of the best mexican restauarants in the area - rose peppper, the next day another friend told me about his experience being beaten up by four guys at a petrol station, just because he gently asked a stranger to 'go easy' on her kid (as she was violently smacking her 2 year old in the parking lot). Another friend told me that I should seriously consider moving at night so that it was discreet. I was definitely advised not to hold eye contact, smile at strangers or walk anywhere by myself. So I took all this on board and decided not to be scared, but just "street smart".

Tonight it was dark by the time I got home (beautiful full moon is out by the way). I was tired from the repeated late nights so I decided to sit up in bed and read for a bit before crashing out. As I settle in I hear someone loudly beating on our front door. It wasn't a regular knock, or even a firm knock. It was fist upon door, hitting with full might. I sat up terrified and suddenly wished I had not stopped karate classes at yellow belt black tip - although the only reason I even made it that far was because of my crush on Morgan Sinclair. Anyway, back to the story. It's dark. I am home alone. New house. Wearing a hoodie and green pajama pants. Maniacal knocking at front door.

I didn't want to open the door because I had no idea who was outside and whoever it was definitely didn't sound friendly. I grabbed my phone and tried to think who would be the best person to call. Unfortunately I don't have a 'six foot tall martial arts professional who lives within ear shot' in my phone book. I called Marabeth but she was already at the Naw Ruz event and her phone was turned off. I left her a message. And then the melodramatic part of me thought about how those might be my last words and wished I'd been a little bit more eloquent. Funny the things that run through your head WHEN YOUR LIFE IS IN GRAVE DANGER.

The banging continued. I took a deep breath and dialed 911. They picked up on the first ring and asked "what is your emergency?" So I explained that I didn't really have an emergency - well not yet anyway. I gave all the details. Her response? "So, Miss Landry, someone is knocking on your door? That is your emergency?"

"NO. MISS 911. SOMEONE IS BEATING DOWN MY DOOR WITH THEIR BARE FISTS AND I CAN'T SEE WHO IT IS BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO LOOK OUT MY WINDOW IN CASE THEY SHOOT ME IN THE HEAD. THAT IS MY EMERGENCY"

She said she would send the police over to investigate.

I called Jeff and Leanna and thankfully they picked up and stayed on the phone with me until the police arrived five minutes later.

I open the door to a very sheepish looking police officer. He tells me that it was HIM.

HE was the intruder.

I basically called the cops on the cop.

He was looking for 1622 Chase Ave because there is a warrant out for somebody's arrest. I don't live at 1622. But oh well, he thought why not go to that house and scare the inhabitant witless with my extremely loud and inappropriate pummeling of their front door?

I was livid. The first thing I said when he told me is "why couldn't you knock like a NORMAL person?" I think he felt bad.

Moral of the story - tomorrow I'm getting a peep hole installed. and maybe getting a dog. shh. don't tell Marabeth.


**
update at 12:42 am

me, extremely jumpy: "what WAS that noise"
maz: "what noise?"
me: "the noise in the kitchen. the rattling. the cracking sound"

pause to listen to the sound

maz: "oh, that's just the ice maker"

a beat.

maz: "oh. hold on, nope. that's not it."
me: "what do you mean?"
maz: "um. we don't have an icemaker"

brake/accelerate

this photograph sums up how i sometimes feel.

la la bamba.

that's the only thing i remember lou from. and now king arthur in the broadway tour of camelot.

masterpiece

when i went to holley's the other night i found this gem drawn by her four-and-a-half-year-old daughter ruby. i am pretty much enamored with it. the TEETH. please check out the teeth. i love the detail. and the eyelashes. yeah...children's drawings are high up on the list of things that make me really happy.

Monday, March 17, 2008

close enough...

i'm going to start keeping all the variations of my name that i receive. make a whole scrapbook out of it. i'm definitely going to get 'Gold Reeves' printed onto a bright yellow tshirt to wear all summer long.

because perhaps you thought i was kidding...

i was not. i wish i was. but this was given to me by the security guard i say hello to every single working day. yep. this is his 'other' business card. wowzers.

polaroids

i adore polaroids. there is something about the risk. the instant gratification of having a photograph in hand only moments later. if it was a digital shot it would probably be deleted. but even the bad polaroids seem great. i'm thinking of doing a whole 'door' series. and then a 'window' series. i definitely want our fridge to be plastered with polariods of the faces of the people we love.

last table time at this table

jc & m2 came over tonight. they were hungry. even though we live in a first world country i feel like they do not get all the nutrients they need. so first i fed them. m2 made sure to confirm that the dish did not have terradactyls or tarragon in it. we caught up on all the random details of each others lives and i took blurry pictures to document the end of an era. they were not as excited about my organic sugar free macaroons as i am but i still love these two rascals dearly.

Sunday, March 16, 2008

1602 hillmeade drive

a year ago we moved into this apartment. it had a dark red accent wall and we were both smitten by the sunroom which was effectively a 'tree house' as it jutted out from the apartment into a canopy of trees. the living area was spacious which was important to us as we imagined having lots of friends over, forecasting a multitude of dinner parties and games nights. it was all coming together. and then it all fell apart.

one day i came home to boxes. stacked neatly in the living room. walls were suddenly barren. bookshelves held the meager remains of a collection halved.

the space suddenly seemed far too large and overwhelming. i rattled around in empty rooms and spent a greater portion of the weekends in the tree house with a blanket wrapped around me. i'd take a book but i didn't have the concentration span to read. i'd sit for hours looking out over tree tops and wondering what i was supposed to do. where was the manual for mending? how was i going to fix something seemingly damaged beyond repair?

it was spring then as it is spring here again now. the tennessee trees were lush. the sun found a way to shine through all the shutters that i'd closed and within a matter of days i shook off my self-imposed solitude, took a deep breath and re-entered the world.

i will never forget how it felt to leave my apartment in a probably-too-short-summer-dress and go grocery shopping. to stand in those aisles and only have to tend for one. it must seem strange to you that supermarket shopping was such a pivotal moment for me. but it was. strangely liberating.

the apartment was still too large. doors to rooms would remain shut and with no tv and no other voices, i craved sound. one of my first purchases was a sleek black bose ipod dock and an even sleeker black 80gig ipod to match. music became my solace.

on my birthday some of my dearest friends in nashville took me out for brunch at marche - a french cafe in east nashville that by now you should be familiar with, because i reference it in, oh, every second post. that same weekend m2 moved in and from that moment on my apartment was filled with laughter and two girls whose sleep schedule was non existent. staying up until 3am and showing up at CAA the next morning with wet hair and not-enough-sleep-hysterics was all i remember about june/july/august.

in september marabeth moved in and much needed balance and routine entered my world. real dinners, at least 7 hours sleep and a fridge stocked with fruits and vegetables. i don't know what m2 and i subsisted on but i'm pretty sure we lived off pb&j sandwiches and magic bullet smoothies for the entire summer.

i remember coming home the day maz had moved in and seeing her room. it was so perfectly put together and decorated that it looked like she had been there for years. i had never really felt like this was my place so the rest of the apartment had a style you would call 'minimalistic' at best. nothing on the walls. no cosy nooks. my bedroom was literally a bed and a small set of drawers filled with art supplies. my clothes were either hanging in my enormous wardrobe or folded in little piles on the ground. it always looked like i had just moved in that day. and i had no desire to do anything about it.

which brings me to this weekend. we've spent most of it packing. there are boxes everywhere and it still amazes me how much 'stuff' one can amass. on tuesday everything will be moved into the new place and so tomorrow night will be the last night here.

in such a short span of time - only a year - this space holds so many memories. henry looking out the windows trying to spy a squirrel. m2 and jc dancing in the living room awkwardly, but adorably, after their first lesson. sitting at the table with them eating havarti cheese and crackers. my first devotional with so many people showing up there was not enough seating. the lady upstairs 'shhh-ing' us. marabeth and i lying on the carpet laughing so hard we could not breathe - which happens on a daily basis.

and now i'm ready to close one door and open a new one. literally.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

layers


yesterday:

- i drank coffee for the first time in months and it was delicious
- i wrote a letter to someone with the intention of not sending it. but once complete i decided to send it. one of the best decisions i've ever made.
- m2 told me she has been craving crepes and is actually losing sleep over this.
- lou diamond phillips told me he loved my accent and all i wanted to say back was 'you were great in la bamba'. i resisted the urge.
- i had dinner with three people - parents of my friends. i realized i love them as much as i love my friends.
- my mac decided that it's battery no longer holds any charge.
- my obliques hurt from over zealous yoga the night before.
- i stayed up too late.


today:

- the sun came out in nashville and i basked in it for a full hour. feet propped up on a chair outside on the patio of tpac. it was blissful.
- luca laughed and my heart melted.
- i ate half a giant bag of little lads popcorn for dinner. it is made using mystery herbs. i've figured out dill, sea salt and nutritional yeast. but i'm not sure what else is involved. it is addictive though, so probably cocaine.
- i told a friend some of the things i miss most about new zealand. the more i thought about it the more i missed. as i was typing my list clever google popped up with an ad for flights from lax to auckland for $900. i was oh so tempted.
- i realized i'm so inconsistent with this blog.
- my domino necklace purchase from etsy arrived. it is even more lovely than i had expected.
- i shot my final tv spot for channel 2 news for my official broadway season
- became a fan of tulsi tea - sweet rose - with a splash of half and half and a dash of agave. mmm
- i stayed up too late again.

Sunday, March 09, 2008

the day ended

with lots of the things i love:

free wifi
panera's fuji apple salad (how can you not love this combo: pecans, gorgonzola cheese, field greens, organic chicken, crispy apples = deliciousness)
macs
sitting next to a power outlet
sunshine streaming in

sunday snapshots



the sun finally came out so my friend angela and i decided to spend a sunday exploring nashville's finest alleyways and finding interesting walls. and doors. and textures. in the process we learned how to fly.

silhouette and song

photo credit: toby robert anderson

someone recently was talking to me about finding their life partner. she said the secret to her success was not going for her 'type' but rather finding her 'complement'.
she didn't really elaborate. but at the time it made perfect sense. now i'm a bit more fuzzy. what if your 'type' and your 'complement' are the same? and how do you know if they are not?

and on that note. well not really related at all except for the fact that it reminded me of the color wheel and complimentary colors - i love this photograph for its bright blue and orange.

love.



if you met luca, you too would be smitten.

the last freeze


they tell me spring is just around the corner. this helped me not panic when i woke up this morning to see this view from my 'tree house'.

Friday, March 07, 2008

hodge podge

i found out that my car is made of plastic. who knew? i found out when i tried to slap on a nine pointed star magnet onto my bumper and it wouldn't 'stick'. i somehow feel cheated.
*
when it snows in tennessee (as it did tonight) it results in people driving like they are hallucinating. they swerve and slam on their breaks for NO apparent reason. and then they rush to the store to get eggs and canned milk. like the apocalypse is around the corner.
*
today i tasted 'persian icecream'. it is vanilla bean icecream with crushed pistachios, rose petals, rose water and nutmeg. it was the most delicious icecream i've eaten (except for my all time favorite - giffords black berry buggaboo fudge - which they've discontinued and i'm still distraught about that)
*
it was so heartwarming to see a 70 year old man open up his wallet and see that he had a picture of his wife inside. that's the kind of love i want to find.
*
i can spend hours on this site. today i bought this necklace that i want to put on an extremely long gold chain and wear all summer long.
*
i might go trampoline shopping tomorrow.
*

Thursday, March 06, 2008

one of my vices: diet coke with lots of freshly squeezed lime. khayli meechaspeh.

so dawn and dusk pictures are not as easy to take as i had anticipated. i'm not a fan of using the flash when i take pictures because of how it changes colors...but capturing objects when there is little natural light is really hard. i need a tripod. or less shaky hands.

i spent most of my day in a film editing suite creating a ten minute montage for the Tennessee Performing Arts Center's upcoming 08/09 Season Launch event. this little ten minute film took SIX hours to create. i have such respect for filmmakers. it's such detail oriented work. the smallest edits can make such a difference. and hours of work are poured into a frame or two.

it occurred to me the other day that i have one of those jobs that i didn't know ever existed. i had never considered what went into marketing theater...it just hadn't occured to me. when the job description was emailed to me (while i was still working with CAA) i remember reading it and thinking i would love this role. problem was i had no background in marketing. no business degree...no experience in marketing and PR and just had completed my MA in publishing and editing so it wasn't really a position that i was well-groomed for...but i wanted it.

to this day i think my oddly unidentifiable accent got me the job. and the fact that i didn't hold back in the interview. i love theater and i figured i can sell anything i love. i'm sure i used lots of hand gestures and excited-too-fast-talking to get this point across.

i am lucky because i really do enjoy my work. i was reading a list i had written a year ago describing what i wanted in my next job and i was able to check off all of the requirements. working within the arts and entertainment industry, having autonomy, being creative, having stability, travelling, being challenged, healthy work environment, non corporate, non repetitive, collaborative, social...all the elements that were important to me are covered. in a months time i fly to New York for a week-long Broadway League conference. a chance to network with other broadway marketing managers from around the States, attend workshops and go to a bunch of Broadway shows. i am staying in a boutique hotel in Times Square and i'm only a LITTLE bit excited. :) that is a total lie. i'm inordinately excited.

i'm also tacking on some time the weekend before and after to visit nyc friends. i expect to come back tired and poor. blame the city that never sleeps, the great shopping and recent transplant roya azadi.

**

want to expand your mind today? do some research on Epigenetics...in my oversimplified terms this is the study of how the cells in the body, even DNA is affected by ones thoughts. marabeth is reading a book titled 'the biology of belief' and it describes how genes and DNA do not control our biology...but rather our DNA is controlled by signals outside the cell, including energetic messages emanating from our positive and negative thoughts.

woah (!) is right.

**

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

three hundred and sixty five days later.

this week, exactly one year ago we drove to tennessee. it was an innocent road trip. a chance to escape maine's sordid winter and see some friends/family. we had planned to stay a week - ten days at the most. i would never have imagined a year later i'd be living here. that my world now would be predominantly wrapped up in nashville, tennessee.

one day to fill in time we went to play frisbee golf. the air was crisp and clear. spring had arrived. i looked at the lush green grass and felt the sunshine on my back and in that moment i realized i didn't have any desire to be back in the north. the novelty of scraping ice off my windscreen and living in snowboots had definitely worn off. this picture is from that beautiful day.

after people learn about the events that have transpired in my life over the course of the year i often get the surprised look of concern and the question of why i didn't pack up and move back to my beloved city of melbourne. i suppose it makes sense to have wanted to be near my family and friends. but i have truly felt like i was supposed to be here. nashville and its inhabitants took such good care of me. i remember songwriters at EMI who barely knew me asking me to have dinner with their families, in efforts to look after me. strangers became instant friends. people smiled and meant it. i really feel like this was the best place for me to be during this past year. i couldn't really explain it then, i can't explain it now. i just knew i needed to enjoy the green of the grasses i was standing on, and that the rest would sort itself out.

as i'm fasting this year i'm so vividly reminded of last year. and i'm so glad i trusted my intuition. that i didn't do what was 'expected' and a year later, here i am. and so happy to be here.

Monday, March 03, 2008

wide. awake.

not a fan of:

1. underscores. they_just_bother_me
2. comic sans font
3. self checkout aisles. i know they are supposed to be efficient but they are usually annoying. (side note: the last time i was at a self checkout i had bought a couple of muffins and as i was trying to figure out how to pay for them the machine started to 'help out' by repeating in a very loud and demanding voice 'please move your muffins'. it struck me as funny the first time, but then it started repeating it over and over like a maniacal chant and making SUCH a scene. it wasn't very clear where i was supposed to move my muffins to. and so i was placing them in the bag. eeengh (!) wrong. out of the bag on the scale. wrong again. eventually one of the staff came and helped me out. i couldn't help but feel like the machine had insulted me with it's loud demands of 'MOVE YOUR MUFFINS'.
4. terms like 'webinar' (online seminars) and 'webisodes' (online tv shows)
5. ice crunchers. people who crunch ice. with their teeth. perhaps it's because i have sensitive teeth and i know that if i tried something like that i'd be in immense pain
6. napkin waste. when you go through the drive through and you get half a tree worth of napkins with your meal. i often try to give them back saying 'i'm really not that messy! save a tree!' but then i'd be the crazy woman at the drive through. so it's a dilemma
7. not having an automatic spell checker on my blog so my posts end up riddled with errors
8. not having access to a time machine
9. fruit that looks good but tastes bland. stop tricking me with your colorful healthy looking fruit american supermarkets.
10. sideways tennessee rain. there is no escaping it.
11. joy squashers.


a fan of:

1. lists (oh really?)
2. procastination (i could be packing)
3. polaroids (new obsession. let me restate that. new, expensive obsession)
4. almond butter and white hawaiian honey (i could eat this combo for breakfast/lunch/dinner and not tire of it)
5. the office (just watched some 'webisodes'- see you cringed right?)
6. unique mugs
7. TREES
8. trampolines. marabeth and i really want to get a huge trampoline for our back garden. trampolines are a catalyst for fun. and broken limbs. but mainly fun.
9. holley seals-lizarga's couch and company
10. exploring cities with no agenda besides adventure
11. finally succumbing to the world of purchasing ringtones. do you know how soothing it is to wake up to iron and wine's 'such great heights'? so incredibly soothing.
12. nouvelle zelande

mistakes i've made. and hopefully learned from. and those i keep making.

1. packing four cans of red bull into my luggage
2. sarcastically telling someone at a party that you are supposed to shake hands with your right hand duh! - only to find out he was missing his right arm
3. refusing to buy thermals or wool socks (or any kind of appropriate winter attire) while living in maine. it's a wonder my toes didn't fall off from frost bite.
4. thinking that i couldn't get sunburnt on a florida beach on an overcast day.
5. flushing a whole salmon down the toilet in an attempt to clean out the fridge.
6. entering in a coloring competition under my brother's name. (he 'won', got his picture in the paper and his prize was a bed shaped like a racecar.)
7. overdosing on citric acid - resulting in 'cwipple lip'
8. ironing pants while wearing them
9. flushing plastic fruit (props for a play) down the toilet backstage of my highschool auditorium. (uhm. do we see a theme here?)
10. driving headfirst into a tree on my 16th birthday
11. underestimating the black diamond run at the mt. hutt ski slopes
12. cutting all my hair off in an attempt to look like winona ryder

mistakes i keep making and obviously not learning from:

1. when breaking the fast i THINK i can eat more than i actually can. but yet inevitably i pile up my plate and eat it rapidly with glee and then suffer the feeling of being way too full for the rest of the night. so full that i have to lay on my back on the carpet of my living room floor and in awe that i was ever hungry in the first place. moral of the story: slow down. chew. take breaths. eat half and wait a bit.
2. driving too fast. i don't think i can get out of any more speeding tickets. i've used up all good and lame excuses.
3. writing stuff on my blog that causes my mum to worry. see #2.
4. asking for my coffee to be extra hot and then burning my tongue on it when my order is made correctly.
5. never being prepared for the weather. i lack an umbrella on rainy days and sunglasses on sunny days. it would make sense to carry both at all times - especially in nashville where the weather changes every hour - but that would mean being prepared and i like to live on the edge ;) actually, i just don't like carrying stuff.
6. buying orchids. let's face it - they are high maintanance plants and not one i have had has lived for longer than two weeks. it's time to quit.
7. when they say to get to the airport two hours in advance it's actually not a formality. i should at least TRY to get there so i don't have to keep doing the frantic mad dash to the gate
8. not reading washing instructions resulting in many a shrunken item of clothing
9. keeping the volume up on my speakers at work which means i get busted with a very loud DING every time someone tries to message me using g-chat
10. not getting salt and vinegar chips for dinner when that is all i really want. succumb to the craving already!

dusk 3.3.08

steaming hot rice with tahdig and ghormeh sabzi. mmm.
m2 i know that you are right now thinking 'golriz?! what is that? what's in it? what is that green stuff?'. and i'd tell you 'coriander' and you would raise your eyebrow in a mixture of confusion and concern. but i also know that if you were here you'd eat it and love it.

'brown paper packages tied up with string...these are a few of my favorite things' - the sound of music.

i arrived home today and there was a large box outside my door. all thoughts of hunger dissapated because as we all know - i'm hardly subtle about it - golriz loves parcels in the mail.

i opened the box to find that jen's ayyami-ha presents for marabeth and i had arrived. the most beautifully wrapped presents ever. they are the type of presents that you carefully open because so much time has gone into the gorgeous packaging...plus the wrapping paper is lush and doublesided. how cool is that?

very, very cool.

dawn - third day of march two thousand and eight

my fasting companion and i both share a dislike for overhead lighting so in the glowing candle light marabeth chooses a prayer to read to start our day.

seven years ago we also fasted together in israel. we would wake to the sound of the 'fasting bird' aptly named because it would seem to wake with us pre-dawn and belt out its morning call on the top of its little lungs. (do birds have lungs? they must) anyway, the first day or two it was endearing - hearing this bird CAW outside our window as we tried to go back to sleep. by day three it was our arch enemy. we loathed the fasting bird and its grating song. today, seven years later, no fasting bird...we did hear a woodpecker in the distance, and the windchimes outside. we ate muffin loaf (what happens when you run out of muffin pans but still have lots of muffin mix) and a fried egg each. it is never easy for me to eat so early in the am. but i do it so that at 3pm i'm not dellusional and dizzy.

leila and amy have invited others to share photographs of their own, and i love seeing the contrasts between their experiences so i'm going to try and document the dawns and dusks that i experience until march 21st.

xg

carousel ride

saw will hoge last night. it was okay...not great. m2 first introduced me to his music last year. she has an uncanny ability to find a song that relates to whatever you might be going through...she'll sing the lyrics and go 'see? it's talking about your life' and whether you like it or not, she's usually right. so his track 'carousel' was definitely on the soundtrack of my life in july 2007.

anyway, i was a bit dissapointed with last nights performance (and not just because he didn't play my favorites), but i felt like he lacked engagement with his audience...it was almost as if he was just going through the motions and not really invested in everyone around him having a good time. or even excited about his music. so he was bored and i was bored.

*

today i began packing for the imminent move. i have packed and unpacked more in my life than i feel anyone ever should. with every move i've realized how little i need and want 'stuff'. every year for the past 10 years i've had to sort through the things i've accumulated and ask myself if i really want to carry it with me for the next step of this journey. and it's good to have to make that decision. to leave things behind. to realize once i no longer have them that i don't miss them afterall. it's freeing.

but today was tough. photographs. journals. cards. letters. going through all of that was heavy and not really liberating. i kept taking breaks to sit in the tree house (it was such a beautiful spring day) and try not to think about how divine it would be to drink a cool glass of water (first day of the fast was today). i did little sections at a time. and eventually marked one box with 'deal with later' because that is the only option i could handle.

*

it's 11.11pm. remember how we would make a wish when all the numbers on the clock were the same? where did we come up with this rule? i wonder if i will ever be able to see 2.22 or 4.44 or 11.11 and not think about reminding you to make a wish?

*

do you ever wonder what shade of blue your blood is?
or am i just a wierdo?

*

i miss lots of people all the time. that is one of the downfalls of not sitting still in one place. you make amazing friends, they enter your world, they become 'regulars' and then overnight they are no longer in your sphere of existence. well they are still part of your life...but not in person. and i shouldn't really complain afterall i am lucky enough to be alive in an age of cell phones, air travel and our friend the internet...but still, i miss you. and you. and you.

*

over the weekend i participated in my first 'secret santa'. i realized two things: i have little patience for group games and that i really want a wood whittling set. i had one but it was 'stolen' off me. the whole 'you can steal someone else's gift' rule is lame if you ask me. and i know it teaches you 'detachment' but to that i say: detachment shmetachment.

if i had a wood whittling set i'd whittle a plethora of spoons and maybe even a little bowl if i decided to be really ambitious. i'd hopefully not lose any fingers in the process. but as marabeth has to remind me constantly not to hold fruit in my palm as i cut into it - i might have to come to terms with losing a digit or two.

*