poems and pieces of the puzzle

last night there was a big gala event at tpac. the theme was french riviera. lots of white tuxedos, oversized flashy jewelry and money in the room. events like that always remind me of my childhood and going to dinner parties with the other doctor's families and their circle of friends. as a kid i was fascinated by adult conversation, how the wives were so poised and the big elaborate houses. i would often find another friend who was my age and we'd find a way to entertain ourselves. i first met justine at one of these parties held at a mutual family friend's home. i don't remember what trouble we got up to but i have a blurry memory of trying to sneakily sip some wine with her...

in maine i had a summer catering job that got me access into the lavish parties that people-who-have-more-money-than-they-know-what-to-do-with throw. the houses were incredible, filled with antiques and art...with views of the ocean and huge manicured gardens. many of the 'hosts' would only come to maine for two weeks in the summer, throw a big party and leave again. it drove me crazy that these homes sat there empty for most of the year. such a waste of amazing space. catering taught me a lot - mostly how to deal with snobbery. a taste of what it would have been like in a society that was still predominantly divided into classes. in those situations i was always 'staff' and they were 'guests' so often my smiles were met with glares of annoyance or just a dismissive wave of the hand. i will never forget the woman who, when i offered her melon wrapped in prosciutto, looked down at me and said in the most patronizing tone, 'let me tell you something. i just picked up this outfit over the weekend in paris, it fits me perfectly and i'm not about to ruin that with one of those. don't ask again.'

yeah. it took a very deep breath for me to freeze my smile and walk away when all i wanted to do was pitch my tray at her UGLY dress.

anyway. i had a great time last night - was a little bit dissapointed not to have an extra $1800 lying around because there was a gibson electric guitar in bright blue that i was kind of attached to. i was in charge of auctioning off the guitars which was funny since all i knew about them was that one was red and one was blue. but as the evening went on i struck up conversation with the songwriter/musicians in the room and found out other key points. like one was a bass and one wasn't. and one of them was identical to what the guy from ac/dc has.

came home to find jc and m2 crashed out on my bed. i was more than a little creeped out but then m2 told me that they had expected me home hours ago when i had called them to say i was leaving and so they were waiting on my bed to share in our family adventures of the night...but i had taken a spontaneous 3 hour detour and so by the time i got home they had crashed out...pretty cute huh.

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hello universe,
these are the things i currently need more of in my life:

picnics in parks
star gazing
almond butter
surprises
hugs
longer weekends
clarity
long walks at dusk
cooler temperatures - i'm done with the novelty of 100+ degrees thankyouverymuch
h20
yoga classes
a day to devote to my gocco print

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do i have permission to put the poem you emailed me in this space?
or is it only to be read on days when it rains so hard that the beat of the rain matches a heart beating with anticipation. so loudly that you think your ribs will be bruised on the inside from its pulse?

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