Tuesday, September 16, 2008

sh-croc horror

marabeth came home the other day with a confession. she had bought her first pair of crocs.

i know.

I KNOW.

what is the world coming to? first the turbulent economy and disastrous hurricanes. and now this. really? is it too much to ask for a peaceful, non eventful weekend full of picnics and posies?

what is a posy/posie anyway? and who cares enough to look it up?

the feeling i have about crocs is pretty much hostility with a dash of repulsion.

i know they are just shoes. and i know they are "super comfortable". and yes, i've even heard you can eat them for sustenance if you are stuck in the dessert with no food. but i was still in the 'vehemently opposed to crocs and probably won't be changing my mind any time soon' camp.

until i tried on her pair.

it was like stepping into a cloud of marshmallow magic. little invisible trampolines put a bounce in every step i took. so light! so easy to slip on and off! suddenly i felt like dancing to ABBA.

sudden realization: i didn't want to take them off.

just so we are clear: i still loathe the original crocs. the only exception being those on toddler feet, and then it doesn't matter because little feet look cute always. preferably shoe and sockless actually.

the pair marabeth bought are the 'malindi' version. they pretend to be a ballet flat. and they don't knock you on the head with their blatant disregard for style. under jeans you barely notice them. i call them convert crocs. because, let's be honest here, now i want a pair.

in order to reclaim some dignity i can attest that i EXTRA hate the shoes below. the merging between original croc and heel. whoever thought up this marriage should be locked away. with the person that designed the cellophane wrapping on CDs. they would probably get along.

8 comments:

angela Barnes said...

I have those too, but in gold.

Just join the comfort club already....

a penny for the old guy said...

according to the OED a posy is a small bunch of flowers.

apparently the children's song 'Ring Around the Rosie' was a reference to the Black Plague (a red ring-shaped rash being the first symptom of the disease). Pockets full of posies (pockets full of flowers), to help with the smell in the air.

ok. so i'm the freak that cared enough to look it up.
god help me.

Ghetto Blaster said...

doooont doooo it!!!!

buy TOMS instead :)
...(with my discount)
...and wait for the holiday ones (so freaking cute)

Ghetto Blaster said...

oh, and q is right, the children's song is about the plague, i remember learning that in 6th grade.

i was scarred.

capone said...

i am a proud owner of a pair of crocs, and will continue to be (and was only sold after having tried a pair)...

yay you.

a penny for the old guy said...

and can i just say, this is the reminiscence of a once-first-year-medical student:

of all the freaky gross pandemic diseases that we have (like, small-pox, ebola etc) none are as much the big daddy of the fraternity as the Bubonic Plague.

Like.. the Plague is a baller as far as wiping out communities en masse and being totally gnarly and gross while you're at it. The big boils you see? those are actually your lymph nodes like all swollen up with excess liquids and proteins so that you're essentially dehydrated on the inside. And like.. (ok i'll stop there) (but i was always very enthusiastic about the Black Plague. I mean, say it out loud, the Black Plague sounds like... Slipknot or one of those crazy bands I'd probably wanna be in.

(i'm done i'm done)
(i'm leaving.
ok fine)

(freaking crocs are gross. it's like wearing a chastity belt on your foot. cause no one wants some) Oh, and also,

TOMS! Absorbs greenhouse gasses so your children won't have to.

amy said...

NOT YOU TOOOOO!
PLEASE. DON'T!
IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS HOLY.
OTHER SHOES WON'T WANT TO COME LIVE WITH YOU IF YOU EMBARRASS THEM WITH CROCS.

DOOOOOON'T.

JUST SAY NO.

layli said...

your blog post cracked me up. i cannot believe you have gone to the other side! please!! can we save you?? Me and Amy?? i too, have a blog post about crocs, you should see one of the comments my friend left re. those high heeled disasters...

http://samimi-extremie.blogspot.com/2008/07/theyve-got-to-be-messing-with-us.html

either way, this post made me laugh, dear one.