Saturday, April 21, 2007

lover of lists

lists keep me sane.
there is something about writing down all the things you want to accomplish, big or small, that lends itself to making the world you exist in a little bit easier to handle. more manageable. easier to digest.

i used to be afraid of eating eggs.

it all began when we had hens of our own on our 2 acres of land in timaru. i am not a big fan of birds. what with their beady eyes and hard beaks. but my mum, lover of all things from god, thought it would be a nice idea. so we had a little coop and everyday we'd get fresh eggs. one time i was watching mum make a cake and she broke the egg into the batter and out fell a tiny fuzzy almost-chick. i was utterly revolted. and put off eggs for oh, about 10 years. i am still not big on eggs but i think that has more to do with being afraid of the high cholesterol that runs in my family.

anyway. the point is that once i ate an egg yolk too fast and it was stuck in my throat. it hurt and there was nothing i could do but wait out the discomfort. and that is how today feels. uncomfortable and somewhat rushed.

but then there is you, and you, and you.

old friends, new friends, loved ones, strangers, the mail man that comes into my work every day at noon with a big smile and calls me 'sugar'.

and you make it all okay. you are the band aids, the lemon honey hot water, the sunshine, the long walks, the hugs, that i need to make it through the days when all i want to do is dissipate. evaporate.

and now i'm going to:

stand up and stretch
walk my dog
take a shower
get dressed

small, bite sized chunks.

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