being here

just as i finished up my blog post yesterday my boss came into the lobby of the hotel looking very shaken up. he had *just* travelled over the bridge that only moments before had collapsed into the mississippi river.

the tragedy was palpable in the air of this city last night.

seven people have been confirmed dead and over fifty are injured...they are continuing the search for bodies today. a truly horrible scene that every news channel keeps replaying, interspersed with messages from family members who are missing loved ones. i sat up watching the news reports in bed last night and, naturally i suppose, all i could think about is the fragility of life. the difference between being here. and not being here. a simple ride over a bridge taken five minutes apart making all the difference.

and i know these are age old themes but what is this fragile existence all about? what are we supposed to fill our days with? how are we meant to live? what dreams do we put off following for another day? and what if we never make it to that 'other day'?

a movie i saw recently had a line that affected me. one of the characters was talking about his feelings, and was told that his 'feelings' were not important...what is important is how we treat the people in our lives that we love.

i hope that i am transparent enough in my love that those of you out there who i care about know it with a certainty.

if i wasn't 'here' that is what i would want most of all.

xg