dinner sponsored by the letter 'P'

it consisted of:

plantains and peanut butter.

yep. that's what i just inhaled for dinner. that's what i felt like. and so that is what i had. and it was delicious. fried plantains to me are like the fruit version of spanish donuts. in other words, sweet, decadent and greasy. and oh. so. good.

halloween tonight. saw a lot of people driving in their cars dressed weird. grand timing to be told i'm allergic to chocolate. it was everywhere i looked. in the staff kitchen. on counter tops. people handing it out on the street. i would turn a corner and lo and behold MORE chocolate.

i just kept repeating my mantra - the cocoa bean is NOT my friend.

you know what IS my friend? tea. i drank 4 cups of tea today. earl grey. kombucha green. rooibus red vanilla. and chai. in another life i'd like to own a tea shop. it would be on the corner of a narrow street in the middle of a city. it would have a bright red door. it would be so small and tucked away that if you didn't know to look for the bright red door you might miss it. you'd walk in and the shelves would be full of an assortment of different vintage jars all containing different loose leaf teas from all over the world. bamboo flooring. lots of funky lighting. then you would pick out a mug of your choice out of a wide variety. and a teapot. and you could sit on the couch or at a little table with your book. or your lover. or your best friend. and drink tea. as much as you wanted. and there would be music playing. and perhaps little sweet treats to go with your tea. and in the winter a fire place with cushions in front of it.

*

i'm really happy. i am singing-in-the-car-on-the-top-of-my-lungs-happy.

why? a multitude of reasons but the main one is probably because i feel like everything is falling into place exactly how it should. i'm deliciously content with my life, with how my days are spent and the people in them. i am glad that it's finally winter, but not a freeze-your-innards-cold like i used to experience in maine, just a cool-enough-to-wear-boots-and-snuggly-scarves-cold. i'm excited about jen visiting this weekend and getting to show her the hidden gems of nashville that maz and i have discovered. i'm happy with how my broadway season is coming along and the fact that i'm overcoming challenges and possibly breaking records along the way(!) i'm being more authentic than i've ever been. and i am loved. that last one is the key. if you have that then you can accomplish anything.

*

november is shaping up to be full of trips. the places i'm considering travelling to for a weekend are as follows:
austin, tx
washington dc
seattle

i'm not sure how to fit it all in. and quite possibly i won't make any of those three trips. i'm undecided.

list time i think:

list of things i've heard that may, or may not, be true:

1. you are significantly more depressed the week of your birthday than any other time during the year
2. goldfish have three second memories
3. your eyes can change color if you rid yourself of the toxins in your body
4. dogs are color blind

list of cities i haven't been to, but want to visit:

1. ashville, north carolina
2. austin, texas
3. barcelona, spain
4. shiraz, iran
5. istanbul, turkey
6. tuscany, italy
7. budapest, hungary
8. pretty much any city in south america

*

there is this security guard at the bank i go to across the street from work that always smiles at me a bit more than is necessary. and so i usually walk past quickly and try not to make much eye contact. so today he asked me if I was going to party with the ghosts tonight. and i thought he asked me out on a date. i don't know why i misunderstood. blame the southern accent. or the wind. or the fact that i was focussing on not eating chocolate. anyway. i gave him a steely look and said 'no'. very emphatically. he looked hurt.

it wasn't until *after* i had made my transaction that i realized what he had asked. and then i felt bad. so i went out of my way to go past him again and the conversation went like this:

me (apologetically) 'i'm sorry, i just realized what you said - ghosts. (uneasy laugh). um so yeah. no, i'm not going out tonight for halloween'

security guard 'yeah. i asked you about the ghouls too'

me (trying to get away now that i'd explained myself) 'okay. well. yep. not going out with the ghouls either'

security guard 'yeah...well how about ghosts?'

me (edging away) 'nope. no ghosts'

security guard 'will you go out with me then?'

me (turn and walk away golriz. turn and WALK away) 'um nope. still no. no thanks'

the whole thing was awkward. as you can imagine.

*

m2, let's do lunch soon. which wich for old times sake?