Friday, August 29, 2008

iheart

waltz, tango, push pull swing

a week incredibly full of

love
laughter
drinking coffee again and wondering why i ever stopped.
dancing whenever. wherever.
i'm completely enamored with my iphone
but even more enamored with the boy who makes it work when i can't figure it out
so many friends in one place
heart expands to fit them all in
warm nights
full to the brim
cafe chatter till late
familiar eyes that hold gaze and converse without words
morning arrives too soon
unmade bed a constant
now rushing to pack
realizing nothing i need is clean
a weekend of service awaits
and finally
this is not-a-poem
and i love this polaroid

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

this post care of my shiny new...

iphone :)

i am sure that...

















cynthia rowley and i would be friends.


*

it's somewhat strange that he arrived yet i am the one that feels like i am finally back home and nothing really makes me happier than having tea in hand, listening to stories about his adventures in a land full of black rock and blue lagoons.

a stack of magazines and newspapers with lush typography and uncluttered design 'because you like to cut things out' and my heart is grateful for being understood so perfectly.

*

Sunday, August 24, 2008

this weekend...





















1. holley discovered vegan agave sweetened mango cheesecake at wholefoods. it was worth every penny of the eight-dollars-a-slice we paid for it.
2. i actually purchased the rhianna cd. and blasted it as loudly as my car speakers could handle. and i'm not at all ashamed to admit it.
3. i was reminded how late summer nights are conducive to laughter.
4. i stumbled on this quote and it struck a chord:

from suffering i have learned this:
that whoever is sore wounded by love will never be made whole unless
she embrace the very same love that wounded her

- mechtilde of magdeburg

5. i bought 16 packets of polaroid film and dreamed of all the possibilities.

an actual board game. and a sign that speaks for itself. oh tennessee...you never cease to amaze me


one. more. sleep. till we can have these sorts of very important conversations in person.

if i were to knit, this is what i'd make for you:























response:

he would be my first mate on the high seas on my viking ship.
well, second mate.
first mate is reserved for you.

Friday, August 22, 2008

if you think nothing can melt your cold black heart you should...

read this

ten things part two.

ten things part one

ten things that i will find instantly endearing about you

1. you carry around a kaleidoscope in your bag.
2. you can do a flip. front. back. doesn't matter. i'm always going to be super impressed.
3. you talk about books like they are your good friends.
4. you create handmade cards.
5. you take dressing up in costume really seriously.
6. you don't miss the previews when you go to the movies.
7. you know how to have fun at the supermarket.
8. you are never the first to release the hug.
9. you understand that a camera is an essential.
10. you bring me a glass of water or a piece of fruit at random intervals during the day.


ten insignificant things that annoy me just an insy-winsy bit. or maybe a lot.


1. using text shorthand. 'C U soon'? ugh. chances are no, you won't.
2. when you give someone your camera to take a picture of you and your friend and they cut you off at your ankles so you are feetless. why? WHY?!
3. tea that isn't scalding hot.
4. the stickers on fruit.
5. how easily ipod earphones get tangled up.
6. overhead lights that can't be dimmed.
7. overhead lights in general.
8. not being well versed in html.
9. cafes that close too early.



ten things i will never forget. in no apparent order


1. scanning to find your face in the crowded lunch room
2. that one final kiss on top of my head
3. cramming into the light blue VW beetle to get mc donald's 'shaker' fries and frozen cokes.
4. lying on my bed, sun-kissed legs up on the wall talking to you on the phone. for hours.
5. the smile that came over my face when i picked up the jar of almond butter you left outside my door.
6. lying on our backs so full of thanksgiving food that it hurt to laugh.
7. opening the small brown box to find a tiny shivering puppy.
8. calling you on the train from melbourne to geelong and hearing your voice break out of sorrow for me.
9. sitting with you in the cramped hotel office explaining that we weren't a threat to the country of pakistan.
10. waiting anxiously for you to arrive. seeing your face. and knowing it was worth the wait.

not-a-paid-endorsement. but an endorsement, nevertheless.

this week i received a lovely box of goodies in the mail from a boy who obviously knows the way to my heart.

the gem in the stash was peanut butter bumpers cereal. a cereal that is sugar free, wheat free, yeast free. but NOT free of deliciousness. in fact, it's so good that it is try-not-to-eat-the-entire-box-and-yet-you-DO-good.

eat them by themselves as a crunchy mid afternoon treat. or splash cold almond milk for a end of the day wind down supper. they take me back to simpler times of being seven years old and getting up super early on saturday mornings to watch fraggle rock.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

i scored 63 out of 100. your turn.

try this

las paletas flavor of the day...

rose petal.

verdict: oh.so.delicious.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

a roxanne hai recommendation

ladies and gentlemen, may i introduce you to 'fail blog' - a blog that thrives on failures. otherwise known as the blog i'll be reading daily.

dear urban outfitters, yes please - i'll have one of each.

Monday, August 18, 2008

do i really need this sort of temptation in my inbox?

i miss this face. ryan and martha you can heckle me when i see you two hooligans next month - which i'm SUPER excited about by the way

test (i failed)


Find more videos like this on NHNE Community

what's for dinner?

today i got a message from jen asking if it was okay that she just lives off a diet of pretzels and natural yogurt. the answer of course is a resounding YES. and it got me thinking about the times in my life where i have just wanted to eat one or two things. those same one or two things at every. single. meal.

last summer m2 and i literally lived off pb&j sandwiches.

in haifa it was cheese and crackers, and sometimes we'd mix it up a bit by adding apricot jam to the mix.

in college i survived on toast and diet coke. (at this point i would like to formally apologize to my kidney/liver/spleen/any other internal organs that suffered from my diet coke addiction.)

i've definitely eaten edamame for three meals in a row.

i consider frozen blueberries the perfect meal. and anything that you can add blueberries to becomes my new favorite thing to eat.

also, just give me three minutes and a tray of assorted nuts, raisins, and dried fruit and it will seem like a hoard of locusts descended.

right now my two miracle foods that always satisfy are las paletas and popcorn. did i mention you can get the popsicles in avocado flavor? AVOCADO people. how can you resist this magic?

Sunday, August 17, 2008

Saturday, August 16, 2008

a list of important public service announcements

1. quddus has the best list ideas. hands down. to even try and compete with his creative genius would be a waste of my time. and your time.

that's why i unabashedly steal his brilliant ideas and write my own version.


happy Q?

2. i had las paletas for the third day in a row. i've now tried tamarind, pineapple & chilli, and blueberry strawberry. tamarind is still in the lead.

3. i used to have an electric toothbrush in australia but left it behind because of the plug/electrical conversion nuisance, so i was back to regular toothbrushes that make you do all the work.

until i recently bought an oral b triumph and it has changed my world. it's amazing how much brighter my smile is. well, that's not really a fact but if you lived inside my mouth you would be so much happier i'm sure.

4. as i was writing the above point i thought about something i read on dooce the other day:

There we were whispering in the front seat of the car about how we were going to convince our daughter to eat a pancake. If that is not the dumbest first world conversation. Other ones we've had in the past few weeks:

This iPhone is too heavy.

Someone was using my favorite treadmill this morning, so I was forced to use the stationary bike.

This refrigerator isn't big enough. Let's buy another one and put it in the garage.


i think the next LIST i'm going to write is 'dumbest first world conversations' because writing about how my electric toothbrush has changed my life could definitely head up that list.

5. from what i hear iceland is ultra cool. and not just cool temperature wise. but cool because it's nearly always daylight and its colorful and everything, EVERYTHING, including the buttons in the elevator are stylish. as great as iceland might be, i am looking forward to dev's return from the land o'cool.

and not just because i want pecan blueberry pancakes.

although that is one of the many reasons.

Friday, August 15, 2008

a-list-of-things-the-future-person-i-spend-the-rest-of-eternity-with-should-know:

inspired by this charming list.

1. you are my best friend.

2. sometimes i might choose a hobby that sounds odd, like wood whittling, but if you support me, it will all be worth it in the end.

3. i cannot be trusted to navigate. my sense of direction is warped. but, i promise you that if we do get lost i will treat it as an adventure rather than an inconvenience.

4. i have a pretty low to zero tolerance for video games where the object of the game is to kill others. video games in general kind of irritate me - unless i'm playing, and even then my boredom threshold is about 30 minutes.

5. i used to be really bad at apologizing. i'm working on this. the best way to get a sincere apology out of me is to hug me tight. even if i just said or did something miserable. which i know is a lot to ask. but when you hold me i'm reminded that it's safe to be wrong.

6. packing, decorating, making friends out of strangers, and time management are things i'm good at. i'm pretty lousy at wrapping gifts neatly, long division and track and field events.

7. when you smile at me from across the room nothing else matters.

8. i'm not opposed to having breakfast for dinner.

9. no matter what the weather is doing, going for a brisk walk outside always puts me in a better mood.

10. sleeping under heavy blankets with the window wide open in the winter is one of my favorite combination's.

11. i will always be down to snuggle on the couch with you, a good movie, a blanket, and treats.

12. it is immensely reassuring that i can trust your judgment for background music when we have friends over for dinner.

13. i would be proud if my sons turned out just like you.

14. dancing to cheesy disco music when we can't decide what to do is always a perfectly reasonable option.

15. watching you say prayers with our children will make my heart melt. every time.

16. i love the 'idea' of dawn, but prefer dusk. early morning sleep is very precious to me. i'd rather stay up super late, then get up early.

17. when it comes to gifts i favor creativity over cash value, but i am partial to gadgets with lots of buttons, second hand treasures, and hand written letters.

18. please don't make me watch sports on tv. (the olympics are an exception)

19. laughter is key. i want a home filled with laughter. if i'm not in a laughing mood sit me down in front of the office, or fawlty towers, or flight of the concords and then come back in thirty minutes.

20. tea solves a lot of my problems

21. it's a necessity that i inhale your neck when you get out of the shower. just deal with it.

22. expect that ten times out of ten i will want a bite of what you ordered.

23. expect that nine times out of ten i will wish i ordered what you ordered.

24. i don't take long to get ready. in fact, i can usually be ready to walk out the door in ten minutes or less. if i take longer it's probably because i can't decide on what to wear. when that happens you are welcome to pick something out for me because i trust your style.

25. my name will always sound sweetest when you say it.

26. i'm an exaggerator but the flip side is, my stories are usually interesting.

27. we will travel a lot. when i travel i wear the most comfortable things i own besides pajamas and i curl up into a ball and try to sleep the entire distance from point a to point b.

28. even if it grosses out our children i'd like to always be affectionate towards each other.

29. let's always make time for dates. the more the merrier. science museums, skating rinks, libraries, parks, prague, you name it. i'm there.

30. please feel free to remind me to look up at the stars or examine the perfection of a cobweb.

31. your family is as important to me as my own.

33. i don't follow recipes but i can pretty much make a decent meal out of anything we have in the house.

34. i don't mind carrying your keys/phone/wallet in my handbag as long as you don't mind carrying my handbag when my shoulder hurts.

35. i am picky about my cutlery i use and the dishes i eat out of. if plate or bowl is up for question, know that i'd always prefer bowl.

36. if we make decisions as a team we can't go wrong.

37. i'm so glad you wouldn't dream of littering.

38. you should probably anticipate that i will take far too many photographs of you, our children, our life together.

39. when you catch me looking at you adoringly what i'll probably be feeling is amazement and gratitude that out of billions of people on this earth, i was lucky enough to find you.

happy birthday mum

today i was telling a friend that one of the greatest lessons i've learned from my mother is to always give people the benefit of the doubt.

i've realized that i'm sometimes quick to assume the worst...if someone doesn't follow through on something they said they would do i take it personally, if someone is late i might think it's because they didn't care enough to be on time, if they order water with ice and lemon for me a voice in my head might say with a whine 'why can't they remember i prefer room temperature water with lime'?

on the other hand the things my mum would naturally feel in each of these three scenarios is 'oh, they must have gotten caught up in something important. i'm thankful that we are all healthy and happy, this little thing can wait', or 'they must be late because they were helping someone in need - it's more important that they drive carefully and not speed, then arrive on time', and the ice thing 'it's so lovely that they thought about me when they ordered their drink...how lucky we are to have access to fresh, clean water'.

i know - a far better approach.

this is just one quality of the OH SO MANY that make her my hero.

i love you mum.

x

Thursday, August 14, 2008

going for gold

creative genius credit: ashley ludwin

Try JibJab Sendables® eCards today!

all the important things covered.

Ladan: so when are you coming to visit?

me: december/jan

Ladan: ooh

me: three weeks i'm thinking

Ladan: cool
NICE
NZ too, yeah?

me: my grandparents are coming from iran
i've never met them
in my entire life
well except for when i was born

Ladan: wow
thats exciting
are they cute?
like sultanas?

me: probably
i hope so


for the benefit of my dear american readers - sultanas are the same thing as raisins.

another day in the life of a broadway show marketer

marabeth and i are listening to the localized ad for The Backyardigans (the children's show she is promoting):

cue the annoying but infectious (the worse combination) sound bed

then there is this 'voice'

the voice over that gives the details about the show, date, venue etc.

this was the part she was supposed to 'approve' because it was the radio station that localized the ad

marabeth catches my concerned look and says 'yeah...how exactly do you tell someone, 'it's great, except you sound like a child predator'?!

and that's when i lose it. put my head on my desk and laugh till i cry.

can i just say, i love LOVE L.O.V.E working with my best friend.

a fellow list lover

i'm pretty sure i've linked to this gem before.

i found a few that made me smirk.

Five groups, apart from “women and children,” who should get to leave a sinking ship first
October 11th, 2006

1. people who always use turn signals
2. persons who have never purchased a greeting card
3. Broken Social Scene
4. everyone who can and does continue to publicly breakdance
5. un-ironic wearers of suspenders

Five modifiers you might have intended when you just said “literally”
March 28th, 2006

1. completely
2. kind of
3. almost
4. not at all
5. figuratively


Five more terrible fake reality TV shows

February 4th, 2008

1. Are You Smarter Than an Ottoman?
2. Project Segway
3. Would You Eat This for Money?
4. America’s Next Top Preclear
5. Who Wants to Be a Cultural Footnote?

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

heaven on a stick.

today holley introduced me to las paletas - a little shop that sells gourmet mexican popsicles in the most exotic and delicious flavors you can imagine.

she had totally built this place up to me. gone on and on and ON about it. she told me about how there was no signage, and no advertising and yet there was always a constant stream of people pouring into the store. needless to say, my expectations were sky high. and ladies and gentlemen, las paletas did not disappoint.

i had just had a massive lunch of sweet potato fries and grilled trout (i recently decided to give pescetarianism a whirl. pescetariansm is like being an not-quite-vegetarian. i eat dairy and fish but no mammals or birds. we'll see how long i last before i demand a nearly rare steak) so i wasn't super hungry, and i wasn't even really feeling like a popsicle.

so there i stood in front of their chalkboard full of options and decided on 'tamarind'. you might not know about tamarind but it is one of my favorite things. there was a time when i was eating so much dried tamarind that i was wearing off the enamel on my teeth and they started getting really sensitive so i had to lay off the tamarind (and the pomegranate sauce, and the whole lemons, and the citric acid through a straw) but i digress - it's basically an incredibly sour fruit used a lot in indian cooking.

so i order my posicle.
i unwrap.
i place in my mouth and woah.
TASTE EXPLOSION.
it was hands down the most delicious popsicle i've ever had in my life. it was as if they had taken some fresh tamarind, mashed it up, frozen it and put it on a stick.

i'd been mourning the fact that there is no pinkberry in nashville, but i have to say, this beats pinkberry. in fact, i think it beats any other cold dessert i could get in nashville.

i can't wait to go back and try the other flavors, and take friends, and watch their wide-eyed surprise and thorough enjoyment and bliss

...so here's to yet another addiction.

my favorite fotografer

photo credit: ryan lash

ninja blogger

ryan lash has this irritating habit of starting blogs and then just as you get accustomed to checking them every couple of days, he abandons them. and for a few weeks you might go back, a little flame of hope flickers, and then is extinguished when you see the same final blog post.

so it is with much glee that i announce ryan lash (and yes, i do have to say his full name every time i reference him) has picked back up with his bahaiblog.net.

in other news, i miss these two rascals:

a see through toaster and a fold up bike? i'm so glad i'm alive in 2008






























all the ads on the site are annoying but you can find more gadgetry goodness here

Sunday, August 10, 2008

remember how carmen sandiego would go to reykjavik? well this super cool city just re-entered my life.

call me crazy but...if you were going to get an environmentally friendly toilet would you get one that was barbie neon pink?

sorry but your posture just isn't up to par...

yesterday, at a birthday dinner with some friends, one of the people at the table mentioned that his initial 'sizing' up of a potential partner included a quick assessment of their posture and diet. and he wasn't joking.

we all laughed, examined our food choices and sat up a bit straighter, and then later on that night i started thinking about what he had said and the sometimes odd and banal things that might go into differentiating someone from a mere 'date' to a 'i want to spend my future with this one person'.

and then i realized that posture and diet were not that superficial or meaningless at all. i don't think either one are on my personal 'deal breaker' list but i do think they are important. especially the diet thing since we do spend a large portion of our lives eating and when you enjoy pretty much the same sorts of foods this really saves time that might otherwise be spent having (futile, trust me) conversations like this:

'how about the olive garden?'
'ugh, i really dislike chain restaurants'
'why?'
'the lack of ambiance, the mass produced dead tasteless food, the tacky menus'
'well, i hate independent restaurants'
'you don't really'
'yes i do'
'ok, why?'
'the menu changes all the time, the food is unpredictable and the portions are too small'
'so what shall we have?'
'hot dogs?'
'um. no thanks.'

i definitely don't have flawless eating habits and on occasion i have relished an ice-cold glass of diet coke with buttery popcorn, or eating an entire tin of jennies macaroons (scandal) but i have realized that i have little patience for adults who insist on only eating foods you'd find on offer at a seven year old's birthday party. but i guess it's also a lesson in detachment for me.

list of foods that i hold on a pedestal (whether warranted or not):

1. all berries, but blue berries and raspberries are slightly superior
2. all fruit, but top contenders are mangoes, nectarines, persimmons, watermelon, pomegranate, granny smith apples, kiwi, pineapple, feijoas, LIMES
3. olive oil
4. feta cheese
5. fresh seafood
6. eggplant
7. sweet potato
8. avocado (yes, i know this is technically a fruit, but i love it so much it gets its own line item)
9. havarti cheese
10. brown rice bread
11. almond butter
12. blue corn chips
13. anything at cafe rakka
14. yogurt
15. all nuts, except macadamias
16. dark chocolate
17. honey

list of foods that i would only eat if nothing else was available and so my choice was 'eat this' or 'eat this live insect instead':

1. anything at applebees
2. captain crunch cereal/fruit loops/any cereal that has more colors than the rainbow
3. hot dogs
4. frozen pizza
5. pop tarts
6. any of those creepy little debbie things in vending machines
7. spam
8. chinese from a buffet
9. kfc
10. microwave popcorn
11. marmalade
12. orange gummy bears
13. fake orange flavored anything

list of things dg makes better than any one else i know

1. aioli
2. guacamole
3. blueberry and pecan pancakes
4. shrimp nachos
5. cashew, honey, sesame seed clusters
6. tropical drink creations that should come with little colorful umbrellas

now i'm just hungry.

nearly a decade of words shared...

and yet i'm still constantly delighted by his writing.

i am determined that my unborn babies, when they find their way across three ethereal kingdoms, have their pre-life brief with a white bearded prophet under an olive-tree, get squished into a germinal cell and spend alot of time playing geometry exercises with their own body (EXERCISE: divide thyself in perfect halves approximately 18 billion times using only the intuitive sense of nature... and a protractor) spend nine-months tapping I AM TIRED OF BACH in Morse code on the inside of their mother's belly (while she and unborn.baby complain to me about yet another cantata), and finally come out too-red of their aquatic stale-mate, still more mermaid than man, crying and genetically predisposed to despise bright-white-lights (fluorescent or otherwise), will have several single-digit years to walk besides me with too-small steps i will never tire of watching her take, will hold my right hand with their left (holding a white wand with her right), wearing: tutu, tights, protruding belly, and compulsory wings, so that she will not forget her home before her home was the color of clouds, and had the smell of jasmine, and in heaven wherever you walk you hear the crunch of soft-white-rocks under your feet for reasons you won't know till you've endured being human once.

hair clips from the eighties unite.


















i'm lying under the sun on my trampoline with othello (my macbook), a book - the time traveler's wife, and a glass of water spiked with one WHOLE lime. watchout. this equation is near perfect.

the other day the date was 8.8.08. did you notice? on that particular date i thought about what had occurred on that SAME day, exactly 20 years ago. the local public library in timaru (my hometown in nz) was having a contest where the 8th, 80th, 88th, you-get-the-picture, patron would win a prize. i heard about the promotion and not being one to miss any opportunity to win a prize, i asked my mum to braid my hair. eight rows at the top, splitting into eight single braids, splitting into eighty eight tiny braids. needless to say, it took a little time to construct this masterpiece.

and then off i trotted to the library to claim my amazing prize. you should note that i assumed that all this trouble i'd gone to would land me a prize. you should also note that i was 9 years old and so the fact that the contest had nothing to do with a creative way to pay hommage to the date didn't phase me.

so i show off my fancy hair do to the librarians when i walk in and they are amused but in no hurry to make a really big deal out of it. so i loiter. i distinctly remember idly walking around the child's section, looking up every now and then as a little pointed reminder of 'hi people. i'm still here. and i want a prize' - i didn't say it, but that is what my eye contact was implying. not very subtly either.

after a lot of rummaging around behind the desk one of the librarians finally called me over. it was my moment of glory. anticipation mounted and with baited breath i was ready to gracefully accept my prize. perhaps a mac donald's voucher or a roald dahl book, or sweet lord could it possibly be a gift certificate to a book store (the ultimate prize in my nerdy 9 year old existence)?!

i was handed a pencil sharpener in the shape of a duck. a little plastic painted duck sharpener. in my head i'm thinking 'are you serious? do you know how much i had to endure to have this pile of braids on my head?' but of course i smiled sweetly, accepted my 'prize' and promptly left.

twenty years later i'm still a bit bitter.

but NOT as bitter as i am about the camera i nearly won on 'what now'.

'what now' was a kids tv show on saturday mornings. the hosts would do live giveaways each weekend where you would have to call in and be caller number whatever to win. i definitely was a winning caller one time but when i said my name, the host balked at having to repeat it on live tv so she HUNG. UP. ON. ME. and some generic named child won the camera that was supposed to be mine. MINE i tell you.

and finally there is one more prize story to share.

i once entered a coloring competition sponsored by the timaru herald newspaper where you could win a custom bed in any design you wanted. castle? underwater? spaceship? you name it, they'd design it. so very carefully i colored, didn't stray out of the lines, shaded parts of it to show tone and depth. and then noticed the restrictions - you had to be ten or under to enter. well, this was a problem. i was eleven. roshan, my brother, was seven at the time. so i put his name down and sent it in to the newspaper.

ROSHAN WON.

they had obviously been very impressed by this 'seven' year old's talent. the newspaper even wanted to publish a PHOTO of him next to his custom bed. and that is the story of how i cheated, and my brother won a racecar bed that i was insanely jealous of.

Thursday, August 07, 2008

another site to be smitten with



















































i want to marry this site and have it's babies.

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

the day m2 & jc became mr. and mrs. cade





polaroids R.I.P



































i love this idea.
but i don't have any polaroid film to create my own. :(

heresy!

and do you know what we do to heretics?

(sorry, a Tudors reference that only one person reading this blog will get)

girl effect

Tuesday, August 05, 2008

one year ago today i...



















found this wall and snapped this photograph.

it was during my lunch break. i had left the office and was walking around downtown nashville trying to come to terms with the fact that i actually lived in this odd little 'big city' in the south. it was the height of summer then, as it is today. a warm breeze bustled around me as i explored and spied things i found picture worthy. i had only just had a handful of days in my new position and i was nervous, overwhelmed and stressed.

during my interview a week before, i had looked at my future co-workers in the eye and steadily responded to their line of intent questioning. when asked if i believed i could singlehandedly and successfully market a broadway show i ignored the feeling of my stomach folding into an origami crane. i had never marketed anything, let alone theater, in my life and didn't have any real idea of what it would entail. but i fiercely wanted this position. so i nodded, and smiled, and said 'absolutely' with all the certainty i could muster.

walking during those lunch breaks helped clear my head. got me out of the so-cold-my-teeth-chattered-overly-airconditioned office and broke up my day into manageable chunks.

there were so many transitions going on in my life during that time which compounded the stress i was already facing due to moving to a new city and starting a new job. i had just returned from a whirlwind trip to london. a trip fueled by possibilities latent behind doors unopened. i was piecing together my life and trying to adjust to the emptiness that comes when a reality that for many years contains a blend of two, suddenly is relegated to a world of one. i distinctly remember standing in the cereal aisle thinking 'i don't even eat this sugary junk and wow, i don't actually have to buy it.' it was strangely liberating and also poignant. all the conditioning of thinking for a 'team' no longer applied. i was on my own and with no one to hold my hand, i desperately needed to find solid ground.

in the 365 days since i took this photograph i feel like i might have experienced a glimpse into every emotion on the spectrum. i felt the deepest sadness, regret, loss and hurt. but in equal measure i also felt a sense of hope, promise, expectancy and happiness that was unparalleled. i was every shade of grey, but also brilliant crimson, 80's fluro green and hot pink.

and today, one year later, i feel content. loved. happy. grateful.

interestingly, in recent months have searched for this wall and cannot find it anywhere. i don't know if it has been painted over, or knocked down, or located in such an obscure location that i just keep missing it. i do know that when it came into my life, this random slab of bricks and mortar, reminded me that no matter how devastating a situation may seem, there is always some small sign of hope, humanity, and beauty to be grateful for.

butterfly catcher

for ashley



















devon and i spied this pirate on a scooter and knew we had to capture it for you.
x

Monday, August 04, 2008

happiness is

adorable

towel origami




every day when our cabins would be cleaned the staff would create animals out of the towels. creepy and fascinating.

i have the 'can't walk past a colorful door without taking a photograph' disease.



Saturday, August 02, 2008

miami makes me want to own a bright red bikini with gold chains. oh wait. i have one of those. well, miami makes me want to wear it. proudly.

i'm sitting in a condo in miami looking out at a delicious cerulean blue ocean. i hope cerulean is a shade of blue. it might not be. but i like the sound of it, so it's staying. i could have looked it up on the wonderful world of the interweb in all the time it took me to ponder whether it is, in fact, a shade of blue. but that would have meant opening a new window. searching. finding out i was right/wrong. and then losing an entire paragraph of pointless babble. so i won't be doing that.

while you were all spending your week doing whatever it is that you do, i was on a carnival cruise ship doing one of the below things:

hanging out with 32 members of devon's family
eating entirely way too much
wowed by the tackiness and gaudy glitz
soaking in the sun
staring at the vast ocean
staring at the sky
reading
deciding what to eat next
cringing at the 'entertainment'
ordering room service when not hungry in the slightest

the highlights were finding a dark nook on the ship where we could curl up and look at the stars, unhindered by any lights. i learned why pluto is no longer technically a planet, and what a shooting star is. i learned about meteors and galaxies and i was surprised to find myself fascinated by what i was learning. this either means that my high school science teachers were really crappy, or that i now have the maturity to sit still and listen to facts about the universe instead of practising my signature and deciding what i was going to wear on saturday night at the next keg party.

i loved the day we spent in cozumel. we all rented rickety little scooters and drove around the entire island, stopping to snorkel or eat or get directions. i haggled with the shady snorkel equipment rental men which started off as cutesy eyelash fluttering flirtation and ended with threats of defamation. i saw dozens of brightly patterned fish and spied a barracuda. we ate plates of shrimp nachos made of real non-processed corn chips. drank virgin pina coladas at some random rasta bar while lazing in hammocks. ocean surf lapping at the tide, marley blasting...it was bliss.

here is a list of things of things you should know about cruises:

1. all you can eat lobster tails can lose their novelty
2. the cabin might have a fake window. they even put a blind on it. but push away the blind and there is nothing. a plastic beige wall. not even a faux scene painted on to ease the claustrophobia of being stuck in a tiny 2 foot cube.
3. the waitstaff are friendly for the most part. we did have a waiter called 'bagus' who was a little highstrung. one minute he was mad at us for ordering seven hors d'oerves and the next minute he was dishing out hugs.
4. if you are high or intoxicated you are probably going to have a lot more fun. or at least 'think' you are having fun. i'm not recommending that you get trashed on a cruise. i'm just saying that if getting wasted isn't on your agenda you might want to pick a different type of holiday.
5. vegas style decor (think lots of gold plated light fixtures, mirrors everywhere, purple sequin curtains, black marble) doesn't really appeal when you are sober.
6. you will eat more than you should and because room service is 'free' you will really believe that you want a BLT at four in the morning.

in conclusion, i've decided cruises are not really for me. i don't like being restricted to a boat. even if that boat is the size of a small country. i don't like set meal times. or buffets. or lots of middle aged oiled up naked people drinking too much and sitting in a swimming pool cesspit. i didn't get in the pool on the deck one time because i'm pretty content not having hepatitis thankyouverymuch.

i did love being with devon's family. his grandmother recently turned 80 - she is sharp witted, elegant and understandably proud of her five children and all the offspring they have spawned. dev's cousins were all a blast - some now parents, wrangling with altogether-too-beautiful-and-too-intelligent-for-their-own-good-kids. i heard lots of 'you should have known devon when he was a child' stories and we all forced frozen smiles through one hundred too many family 'group shots'.

now i've got a couple of days in picture postcard pretty miami with devon hugh. then he takes off for iceland by way of california, and i go back to nashville. this summer has been so full of adventure and newness. i'm still reeling from it all and it will be nice to have a few weeks of stillness to let it all sink in and take a moment to think about the full-to-the-brim-wonderfulness of life right now, and yet to come.

p.s. in lieu of a souvenir from my trip i've taken several hundred pictures just.for.you. but instead of making you sit through my slideshow that i have created with powerpoint and set to native american flute music, i'll just post up some of my favorite pictures. that is my gift to you. i know, i shouldn't have.

p.p.s. i hate powerpoint and i'm not the biggest fan of flute music either. if you believed that i had a slideshow with these elements we probably don't know each other as well as we should.

a site dedicated to taking the cliche eye rolling blah blah blah out of spirituality: soulpancake.com


check it out and upload your own spatufist!

spectacular cringes two and three.