a preferred member of the bucky covington fan club

that is who i received a message from this morning when i got to work. a two minute sixteen second message from a sobbing woman who is in hospital, or recently released from hospital, and her last dying wish is to talk to bucky covington. she cried through the entire message, spoke about losing her sight in one eye, having DHS take away her children, and the fact that she may no longer be alive on july 28th (the date bucky is doing a concert in her city). it was the saddest message i've ever heard. not just because of this poor womans situation, but moreover the fact that this was her greatest wish...her ultimate dream...to talk to bucky.

i don't know. i just found it incredibly sad.

we put so much of our faith, admiration and love into people we don't even know. there is nothing wrong with recognizing talent, but i guess celebrities are placed on such high pedestals. their 'human-ness' is forgotten. they become superheroes. and then inevitably they fall and falter and the world is aghast at the fact that maybe they are not perfect afterall. but human. and flawed. and trying just like everyone else.

i am so glad that i do not live my life under that constant scrutiny. i'm so glad that every morsel of food i put in my mouth isn't documented in US weekly, every break up isn't splashed on trashy tabloids, every pound gained or lost isn't speculated about by the masses.

anyway.

tomorrow my friends are picking me up at 10am and i have no idea where we are going. i love surprises.

i am not one to make new year's resolutions but i do hope that i can devote this next year of my life to me. as selfish as that sounds. i want to figure out who i am. what i want. where i'm going. where i've been. i want to have a sense of what i have to offer. and how i can live to my fullest potential. to take the lead role of this script and run with it.