coming back down to the ground

i woke up today feeling not quite right.

i know that sundays in general can be a melancholy day for me but i'm not sure why i'm already wary of today and it has only just began.

perhaps because sunday is the day it is all supposed to come together. the day you recenter and regroup and do what needs doing and rest. and perhaps i'm not doing any of the above.

perhaps it is because i know that decisions need to be made and those decisions will be made with heads and not hearts and so that means that they are the kind that will hurt in the short term and make long term sense.

or maybe today feels heavy because of yesterday.

yesterday consisted of:

a phone that frustrates me by it's inability to function as a phone
a plan for the day that was ambushed
a sense of dissapointment in someone i have probably put up on a pedestal
a need to be held
a lame party

yesterday was redeemed in part by:

an amazing, generous gift
a long talk with an old friend
chatting with a new friend who understands the need to choose utensils and cutlery carefully, because really, it makes all the difference in the world

but probably the most memorable part of yesterday was walking in centennial park at dusk. walking and talking with someone who knows me better than anyone else on the planet. that sense of comfort i have with this person that has experienced my best and my worst is always bittersweet.

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it's amazing how music instantly takes me back to any location, throw your arms around me (pearl jam), will always remind of london streets

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i just received a track by ben folds - the luckiest.
i have it on repeat.
it is acutely beautiful.
thank you for sending this to me.

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