today i read a report that indicates that Bahá'í schoolchildren are being subjected to cruel and harsh treatment as part of Iran's government-sponsored campaign against the Bahá'í community.
i find it reprehensible that in 2008 religious persecution is still rampant and it sickens me that innocent children are being attacked because of their beliefs. i was born in Shiraz, Iran. my parents and I left just before the Islamic revolution when i was only a few months old. as a result, my father has not seen his own mother in over twenty eight years. i cannot even begin to imagine how different my life would be if we had stayed.
1979
The city of roses
A summer's day
A picture-perfect setting
Tiny lungs gasping at sweet-scented air
Foreboding fear surrounds
A mother gazing on her child
The soil where life began for me
I shared with you
'It isn't safe to stay' they warned
Whispers of a revolution laced the air
So separated from you
By one decision
A new family of three vacationed
Never to return
'Yes, Golriz, it's half Persian' I explain
'We left when I was just a few months old'
A dislocation from a land
That I hold not one memory of
Just a series of mental flash-cards
Anecdotes of ripe pomegranates
Stories and samovars and CNN
Learning of your plight
I find myself injured on your behalf
Examining my world
The glaring disparities
Liberties often taken for granted
While your convictions hold you captive
A life-sentence to obstacles
I have never had to face
In awe of your love for this Faith
Overpowering your attachment to this life
My heart aches for you
And breaks for you
I'm inspired by your strength
The injustices you bear
For your story
Could have just as easily been
My story
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
open apology for everyone looking for ben harper lyrics and hot ladies
i was a little amused by the key words/phrases that people googled which inadvertently bought them to my blog today:
1. she's only happy in the sun lyrics
2. shells only
3. hot ladies in the sun
4. with sufjan
5. how hot would a black shirt get if it were left in the sun
6. lyrics of she's only happy in the sun
the question is, how hot would a black shirt get if it were left in the sun?
1. she's only happy in the sun lyrics
2. shells only
3. hot ladies in the sun
4. with sufjan
5. how hot would a black shirt get if it were left in the sun
6. lyrics of she's only happy in the sun
the question is, how hot would a black shirt get if it were left in the sun?
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
things i would rather be doing tomorrow
Monday, April 28, 2008
i take it back
dear readers, i wish to retract my previous statement about edamame that has caused some consternation. there is actually no such thing as too much edamame. in fact, the more edamame the better and currently i do not have any edamame at hand and that is a travesty.
only in the south...
today marabeth called one of our media reps at a local gospel radio station and part of his answer machine message was a hearty 'i'm too blessed to be stressed'. so now we've decided to incorporate this line into all of our conversations. 'you want me to make that deadline? sorry. can't do it. i'm too blessed to be stressed'.
the other security guard at work (the one that isn't a part time exotic dancer/elvis impersonator) always greets me with a smile and a 'you have a blessed day'. it's a lovely way to start the day.
as i was driving home a few days ago i pulled up behind a black SUV and there were two women in the front seat who were TESTIFYING (and yes, it warranted all caps). i didn't really know what 'testifying' was until i lived in the south. i don't know what they were listening to or what they were saying but their hands were reaching up in the air and tears were streaming down their faces. they were feeling something. and they were not scared to express it. and as i was behind them i was a little concerned for their safety because between the tears and the looking up at the heavens and the hands waving in the air, i really felt like 'blind spots' and 'indicating-when-turning' were no longer priorities.
it was a little intense. but that could just be my reaction from a sheltered upbringing in new zealand where no one really talked about God and i went to friday night christian youth gatherings because there were cute boys there. in new zealand i certainly wasn't exposed to people openly expressing how moved they were by the spirit of their creator. and so i'm trying to overcome my own prejudices and realize that there is no right or wrong way to tap into that connection.
*
my dinner tonight consisted of a banana and some almonds/walnuts/pistachios. marabeth and i were driving to an event and i turned to her, pointed at my 'meal' and said 'this is how i roll. whoever is going to be my partner in life needs to be okay with the fact that i am completely satisfied with this for dinner'. for some reason it struck us as extremely funny - perhaps it had something to do with the random almond i'd wedged into the banana that was sticking out at an odd angle - but it's true. i am a forager. i can make do with random bits and pieces. i don't need a sit down meal with all the components. i totally feel like cheese, crackers and fruit is a whole balanced dinner. i could happily live off eight grain granola and yogurt smoothies. i also like hole-in-the-wall independent restaurants/diners/cafes infinitely more than chains. in fact, have a real snobbery towards chains. i accept that this is somewhat elitist. but there you have it.
to balance out my elitist approach to eateries i will admit that i've read dan brown's 'the da vinci code' and i watch american idol.
*
the other security guard at work (the one that isn't a part time exotic dancer/elvis impersonator) always greets me with a smile and a 'you have a blessed day'. it's a lovely way to start the day.
as i was driving home a few days ago i pulled up behind a black SUV and there were two women in the front seat who were TESTIFYING (and yes, it warranted all caps). i didn't really know what 'testifying' was until i lived in the south. i don't know what they were listening to or what they were saying but their hands were reaching up in the air and tears were streaming down their faces. they were feeling something. and they were not scared to express it. and as i was behind them i was a little concerned for their safety because between the tears and the looking up at the heavens and the hands waving in the air, i really felt like 'blind spots' and 'indicating-when-turning' were no longer priorities.
it was a little intense. but that could just be my reaction from a sheltered upbringing in new zealand where no one really talked about God and i went to friday night christian youth gatherings because there were cute boys there. in new zealand i certainly wasn't exposed to people openly expressing how moved they were by the spirit of their creator. and so i'm trying to overcome my own prejudices and realize that there is no right or wrong way to tap into that connection.
*
my dinner tonight consisted of a banana and some almonds/walnuts/pistachios. marabeth and i were driving to an event and i turned to her, pointed at my 'meal' and said 'this is how i roll. whoever is going to be my partner in life needs to be okay with the fact that i am completely satisfied with this for dinner'. for some reason it struck us as extremely funny - perhaps it had something to do with the random almond i'd wedged into the banana that was sticking out at an odd angle - but it's true. i am a forager. i can make do with random bits and pieces. i don't need a sit down meal with all the components. i totally feel like cheese, crackers and fruit is a whole balanced dinner. i could happily live off eight grain granola and yogurt smoothies. i also like hole-in-the-wall independent restaurants/diners/cafes infinitely more than chains. in fact, have a real snobbery towards chains. i accept that this is somewhat elitist. but there you have it.
to balance out my elitist approach to eateries i will admit that i've read dan brown's 'the da vinci code' and i watch american idol.
*
Sunday, April 27, 2008
because it's raining outside today, the lists keep a-coming.
lessons i will probably never learn no matter how many times i'm presented with the opportunity to 'learn from my mistakes':
- not putting my toothpaste in my carry-on bag.
- following the washing/drying instructions on clothing.
- not eating/drinking near my laptop.
- sipping, not gulping, my starbuck's chai incase it is actually made to order and thus scalding hot.
- knowing when to say 'when' to salt and vinegar chips.
- realizing that shoes that hurt when i buy them will still hurt post-purchasing
- lip gloss left in the car on a hot day will never recover to its original form
- that i should stop keeping receipts. i will never ever need them. and from past experience the ones i do need, i can never find amongst the hundreds of unnecessary ones.
- that there is such a thing as too much edamame.
- i really do need at least 7 hours of sleep a night.
- keeping my itunes organized is not going to happen. embrace the chaos.
- apostrophe usage.
- always pack a hair dryer. hotel hair dryers are never going to do the job.
- just because i am offered salted peanuts on the plane doesn't mean i have to eat them and then be desperately thirsty for the rest of the flight because the cups of water they give me are meager and i don't see why i can't just have the whole bottle since they are giving everyone else whole cans of soft drink. (sorry, i got a bit carried away with that one)
- the sheer importance of flossing
- not putting my toothpaste in my carry-on bag.
- following the washing/drying instructions on clothing.
- not eating/drinking near my laptop.
- sipping, not gulping, my starbuck's chai incase it is actually made to order and thus scalding hot.
- knowing when to say 'when' to salt and vinegar chips.
- realizing that shoes that hurt when i buy them will still hurt post-purchasing
- lip gloss left in the car on a hot day will never recover to its original form
- that i should stop keeping receipts. i will never ever need them. and from past experience the ones i do need, i can never find amongst the hundreds of unnecessary ones.
- that there is such a thing as too much edamame.
- i really do need at least 7 hours of sleep a night.
- keeping my itunes organized is not going to happen. embrace the chaos.
- apostrophe usage.
- always pack a hair dryer. hotel hair dryers are never going to do the job.
- just because i am offered salted peanuts on the plane doesn't mean i have to eat them and then be desperately thirsty for the rest of the flight because the cups of water they give me are meager and i don't see why i can't just have the whole bottle since they are giving everyone else whole cans of soft drink. (sorry, i got a bit carried away with that one)
- the sheer importance of flossing
reason #492 why i love the world wide web
today i found this gem of a site - a collection of 'painfully polite and hilariously hostile writings from shared spaces the world over' (description on the site itself). this is a favorite.
and as all good sites do, it introduced me to another great distraction: photo shop disasters and so another 10 minutes was spent giggling about these.
caption under this image:
When people Photoshop heads onto bodies they really need to look for little details that might give away the artifice, such as mismatching shadows, different lighting, or differences in sharpness. You know, those subtle, tiny differences that people might notice.
and as all good sites do, it introduced me to another great distraction: photo shop disasters and so another 10 minutes was spent giggling about these. caption under this image:
When people Photoshop heads onto bodies they really need to look for little details that might give away the artifice, such as mismatching shadows, different lighting, or differences in sharpness. You know, those subtle, tiny differences that people might notice.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
how to annoy myself
start every sentence with 'dude'. i don't know where i picked up this nasty habit but dude, it has to stop.
only boring people are bored.
yesterday evening i decided i wanted to learn how to play the guitar. marabeth has one that she bought a long time ago, with intentions to learn that didn't really eventuate (yet), so i dusted it off - tuned it and was surprised by how many wannabe guitar instructors there are on youtube. there are also a few too many emo teens sitting in their bedrooms mournfully singing and strumming. i found this one british guy who has uploaded a whole series of lessons so, with freshly cut fingernails, i learned d chord. then g, a, c, a minor, e, e minor and f. i then found the chords to ben harper songs and proceeded to massacre them. i was entertained for at least 4 hours and then had to stop because my fingertips hurt too much. i'm going to keep practicing and perhaps one day soon buy a guitar. and then like my poor gocco print, it will be shelved because the novelty will have worn off. gosh. i'm so predictable.
*
i'm drinking fusion white and green tea and it's delicious. i've mentioned it before but it must be reiterated, i love tea. my stock favorite used to be twinings earl grey. then i found sadaf tea at the persian store which is infused with cardamom and mmm it wins.
i also have 'tea' memories. or teas that remind me of moments/places/people.
earl grey mixed with jasmine is my dad's signature drink. he'd have this every night with dates. when we were young and my parents were trying to protect us from the vice of caffeine, we would get a mug of hot water with a tiny dash of tea and a spoon of sugar. i felt so grown up.
pg tips reminds me of TRA's tiny kitchen in london where i escaped for a week when i needed it most.
good earth green tea with lemon grass takes me right back to the landry's dining table in maine, drinking out of a beautiful ceramic mug.
recently i've been introduced to rose tea and it's heavenly. especially with a dash of half & half, and agave. mmm.
chai tea reminds me of m2 all the way. she was one who taught me to order chai with no water. makes a world of difference even if you do sound like one of those pretentious people whose drink order is a long chain of directives like mine has now become 'tall soy chai, as hot as you can legally make it with no water'. ahem.
*
list of things i have a difficult time walking past and NOT purchasing
- patchwork quilts
- hour glasses
- green anything
- vintage camel colored leather handbags
- long gauzy scarfs
- fresh flowers. especially dark purple tulips and orchids.
- plaid shirts. seriously, how much plaid does one person's wardrobe need?
- cowboy boots. suddenly i want a pair. let's blame nashville.
- oatmeal cookies the size of my head. but you wouldn't pass them up either.
- anything in wholefoods produce section. have you noticed how they present the fruits and vegetables like it's a work of art? i'm taking my camera next time. it is gorgeous. the colors, the geometry of it all. i stood in front of beets, celery and a menagerie of lettuce heads, completely enraptured.
- trampolines. i haven't actually walked passed any, but i'm constantly thinking about how i want one.
*
*
i'm drinking fusion white and green tea and it's delicious. i've mentioned it before but it must be reiterated, i love tea. my stock favorite used to be twinings earl grey. then i found sadaf tea at the persian store which is infused with cardamom and mmm it wins.
i also have 'tea' memories. or teas that remind me of moments/places/people.
earl grey mixed with jasmine is my dad's signature drink. he'd have this every night with dates. when we were young and my parents were trying to protect us from the vice of caffeine, we would get a mug of hot water with a tiny dash of tea and a spoon of sugar. i felt so grown up.
pg tips reminds me of TRA's tiny kitchen in london where i escaped for a week when i needed it most.
good earth green tea with lemon grass takes me right back to the landry's dining table in maine, drinking out of a beautiful ceramic mug.
recently i've been introduced to rose tea and it's heavenly. especially with a dash of half & half, and agave. mmm.
chai tea reminds me of m2 all the way. she was one who taught me to order chai with no water. makes a world of difference even if you do sound like one of those pretentious people whose drink order is a long chain of directives like mine has now become 'tall soy chai, as hot as you can legally make it with no water'. ahem.
*
list of things i have a difficult time walking past and NOT purchasing
- patchwork quilts
- hour glasses
- green anything
- vintage camel colored leather handbags
- long gauzy scarfs
- fresh flowers. especially dark purple tulips and orchids.
- plaid shirts. seriously, how much plaid does one person's wardrobe need?
- cowboy boots. suddenly i want a pair. let's blame nashville.
- oatmeal cookies the size of my head. but you wouldn't pass them up either.
- anything in wholefoods produce section. have you noticed how they present the fruits and vegetables like it's a work of art? i'm taking my camera next time. it is gorgeous. the colors, the geometry of it all. i stood in front of beets, celery and a menagerie of lettuce heads, completely enraptured.
- trampolines. i haven't actually walked passed any, but i'm constantly thinking about how i want one.
*
Thursday, April 24, 2008
KK, i miss you too.
so my friend jen works as an events coordinator for a massive law firm in houston. she is stellar at her job and in life in general. her latest blog post was about some of the strange people at her work. one of them is this woman who pilfers food from the board rooms. the thing is, instead of using a paper plate, or proper receptacle she puts the food inside office stationary. as jen wrote on her blog,
"She doesn't ask for a plate or a to-go container, she just brings down a file folder, stuffs a sandwich and some pickle spears in it and goes back up the elevator like nothing ever happened. She's a loon."
it's gold right? i mean, just imagining this whole scenario you can't help but smile. and then jen emailed me this:
"One time that she took an inner-office envelope up to her desk with some fajitas in it (no plastic wrap) and then put it in her inbox like it was incoming mail."
WHAT?!
i'm still laughing about this.
"She doesn't ask for a plate or a to-go container, she just brings down a file folder, stuffs a sandwich and some pickle spears in it and goes back up the elevator like nothing ever happened. She's a loon."
it's gold right? i mean, just imagining this whole scenario you can't help but smile. and then jen emailed me this:
"One time that she took an inner-office envelope up to her desk with some fajitas in it (no plastic wrap) and then put it in her inbox like it was incoming mail."
WHAT?!
i'm still laughing about this.
improbable ebay purchases that i want
if you have a cool spare 2k lying around i'd like one of these and also one of these.
in other news, i am happy to report the flea sightings have ceased so perhaps it was all in my mind. or perhaps i was allergic to no longer being in new york.
OH and in extra other news, i've solved the need-to-synch-my-itunes-with-my-ipod dilemma. well it's not really true to say 'i' because the level of my involvement was little to none. it's a good thing i have techno-savvy friends who put up with my incompetence and shenanigans (and my refusal to google answers to my conundrums).
and because you don't have enough time in your life to keep up with the cool, here is a site that does it for you. ladies and gentlemen enjoy the cool hunter. i'm not ashamed to admit that i totally want an adult version of one of these.
in other news, i am happy to report the flea sightings have ceased so perhaps it was all in my mind. or perhaps i was allergic to no longer being in new york.
OH and in extra other news, i've solved the need-to-synch-my-itunes-with-my-ipod dilemma. well it's not really true to say 'i' because the level of my involvement was little to none. it's a good thing i have techno-savvy friends who put up with my incompetence and shenanigans (and my refusal to google answers to my conundrums).
and because you don't have enough time in your life to keep up with the cool, here is a site that does it for you. ladies and gentlemen enjoy the cool hunter. i'm not ashamed to admit that i totally want an adult version of one of these.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
to be continued...
why my mum is more entertaining than mtv:
'so how is anisa doing'
'she's lovely. she wants to go to some concert'
'yeah? what concert'
'sixty cents'
*
i sat in the sun today during my lunch break and even made a colleague meet me out there for our afternoon meeting. i think he thought i was kidding when we set up the time and i sent him an outlook calendar notification with 'patio outside' as the location. but i wasn't kidding. i have the tan lines to prove it.
*
short list o'things i found mildly irritating today. okay, maybe not mildly.
-migraine headache that refused to go away. i drank water. i had caffeine. i took a nap. i ate a whole peeled lemon. i massaged my temples. to no avail.
-not being able to rip all the music from my ipod onto my new macbook. there must be a way to do this. help me.
-being inside when outside was so much better
'so how is anisa doing'
'she's lovely. she wants to go to some concert'
'yeah? what concert'
'sixty cents'
*
i sat in the sun today during my lunch break and even made a colleague meet me out there for our afternoon meeting. i think he thought i was kidding when we set up the time and i sent him an outlook calendar notification with 'patio outside' as the location. but i wasn't kidding. i have the tan lines to prove it.
*
short list o'things i found mildly irritating today. okay, maybe not mildly.
-migraine headache that refused to go away. i drank water. i had caffeine. i took a nap. i ate a whole peeled lemon. i massaged my temples. to no avail.
-not being able to rip all the music from my ipod onto my new macbook. there must be a way to do this. help me.
-being inside when outside was so much better
untitled
there is so much noise all the time
the tv blaring
and she is at the sink
washing dishes
because that is what she likes to do most
you told me this
and my heart expanded
constricted by my chest
i held my breath
let you keep talking
because i'm not sure how you do it
what mettle you are made of
to be there when you could
be somewhere
anywhere else
i often find your world
to be an injury to my reality
and i, unfit to be a shield
or saving grace
allow your acerbic wit and my laughter carry
our conversations
in bank lobbies
at 2pm
the tv blaring
and she is at the sink
washing dishes
because that is what she likes to do most
you told me this
and my heart expanded
constricted by my chest
i held my breath
let you keep talking
because i'm not sure how you do it
what mettle you are made of
to be there when you could
be somewhere
anywhere else
i often find your world
to be an injury to my reality
and i, unfit to be a shield
or saving grace
allow your acerbic wit and my laughter carry
our conversations
in bank lobbies
at 2pm
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
one more reason to love mcsweeneys
you know what isn't fun at all?
fleas.
yep. first marabeth yelped. yes, actually yelped, because she was bitten by something as she was sitting on the couch watching american idol. i thought perhaps she was reacting to the awful rendition of andrew lloyd weber's 'memory', but no.
anyway, then i felt something bite ME. and then again. and then i saw it. a flea.
so then they attacked us with full force. well either that or it's just psychological but i'm itchy all over.
jen said we have to get something called 'seven' and put it in the attic.
i didn't even realize we had an attic.
i can't believe we have fleas.
don't let this put you off coming for a visit.
yep. first marabeth yelped. yes, actually yelped, because she was bitten by something as she was sitting on the couch watching american idol. i thought perhaps she was reacting to the awful rendition of andrew lloyd weber's 'memory', but no.
anyway, then i felt something bite ME. and then again. and then i saw it. a flea.
so then they attacked us with full force. well either that or it's just psychological but i'm itchy all over.
jen said we have to get something called 'seven' and put it in the attic.
i didn't even realize we had an attic.
i can't believe we have fleas.
don't let this put you off coming for a visit.
so Q has reading material other than GRE study guides
a friend of ours is selling his house and he sent marabeth some pictures. this one makes me smile so much because well, you tell me, what is the point of the gate?
*
some of my favorite moments
1. hearing a voice over the phone and those few seconds when i realize it's a dear friend
2. the audible breaths in the vocals of tracks i love - like jeff buckley's hallelujah
3. opening up any apple product. as a friend commented, even the styrofoam is like sculpture
4. using a really great black ink pen on a blank sheet of paper
5. getting a head massage when you get your hair shampooed before a cut
6. the silence that exists after a prayer
7. the first sip of an extra hot soy chai latte
8. a well-deserved standing ovation
9. rounding a corner and seeing the ocean
10. wrapping up after a shower in a freshly dried warm towel
11. waking up from a nap and knowing i don't have to be anywhere
12. my mum's rubbing my back as she hugs me
13. watching people greet each other at airports
14. seeing colors i never knew existed, in someone's eyes
15. stepping out of an air-conditioned room into the fresh air and sunshine
*
conversations with marabeth:
she points to my tool kit
"why do you keep this in the car?"
"because you never know when you are going to need tools"
"when are you gonna need a hammer? we should keep this in the house"
"no, i need it in the car. i might need a hammer one day if something happens to my car and i'm stuck on the side of the road"
"um, the only tool you will use if that happens is your cell phone"
*
Friday, April 18, 2008
cinematic orchestra is the perfect accompaniment to nyc explorations
boomp3.com
today i saw a photograph of you
it was accidental
but perhaps it was necessary
a reminder that no matter how neatly this is wrapped up
how carefully we clean up this spill
wipe down the surfaces
and sweep away debris
there are still remnants
fibers and fragments
that still a heart
in its steps
i realized that i still recognize your mood
by the palette of your eyes
i wondered if i would ever forget
the subtleties
of you
and how much kinder it would be if i could
today i saw a photograph of you
it was accidental
but perhaps it was necessary
a reminder that no matter how neatly this is wrapped up
how carefully we clean up this spill
wipe down the surfaces
and sweep away debris
there are still remnants
fibers and fragments
that still a heart
in its steps
i realized that i still recognize your mood
by the palette of your eyes
i wondered if i would ever forget
the subtleties
of you
and how much kinder it would be if i could
Thursday, April 17, 2008
composed in under three minutes (because i'm running late again): 19 things that make me happy
1. hearing marabeth's voice. i so wish she was here in nyc with me.
2. my friends knowing the things i'd love, eg: devon sending me this link
3. morgan freeman trying to figure out how to turn off his iphone in today's session. i love this man. nobility personified.
4. having an all you can travel new york subway pass. even though i haven't had enough time in between sessions to explore the length and breadth of this city. i could if i wanted to.
5. freestyle rap. it's really such a phenomenal skill.
6. freestyle anything.
7. street artists.
8. pedestrian friendly streets.
9. the anticipation that you can FEEL in a theater as the curtain opens
10. my new perfume - escentric molecules - if you ever are inspired to give me a gift hunt down a bottle of this for me because in the ENTIRE city of new york i only found one store that had ONE bottle.
11. unbridled laughter
12. the sheer kindness of strangers
13. lists. oh really?
14. finding out that advertising on the moon is a hoax and NOT going to happen. whew.
15. knowing there is a new pretty black ibook waiting for me when i get back to work
16. that today it's 72 degrees in new york city.
17. the doorman at the theater telling me if i stash my water and treats he'll pretend he knew nothing
18. green grass
19. long standing friendships. and new ones that hold the promise of forever.
2. my friends knowing the things i'd love, eg: devon sending me this link
3. morgan freeman trying to figure out how to turn off his iphone in today's session. i love this man. nobility personified.
4. having an all you can travel new york subway pass. even though i haven't had enough time in between sessions to explore the length and breadth of this city. i could if i wanted to.
5. freestyle rap. it's really such a phenomenal skill.
6. freestyle anything.
7. street artists.
8. pedestrian friendly streets.
9. the anticipation that you can FEEL in a theater as the curtain opens
10. my new perfume - escentric molecules - if you ever are inspired to give me a gift hunt down a bottle of this for me because in the ENTIRE city of new york i only found one store that had ONE bottle.
11. unbridled laughter
12. the sheer kindness of strangers
13. lists. oh really?
14. finding out that advertising on the moon is a hoax and NOT going to happen. whew.
15. knowing there is a new pretty black ibook waiting for me when i get back to work
16. that today it's 72 degrees in new york city.
17. the doorman at the theater telling me if i stash my water and treats he'll pretend he knew nothing
18. green grass
19. long standing friendships. and new ones that hold the promise of forever.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
so far i've learned...
1. if you pay an exorbitant price for a hotel room in new york it will still not come with breakfast or free internet. BUT it may come with a lovely housekeeping staff member who comes to my room every day at 4pm and gives me a card with the weather forecast for tomorrow on it. today i received a little check box on the 'sunshine' image and the average temp. i so need one of these people at home so i stop dressing so inappropriately. i know i could look up the weather. but i'll leave that to practical/sensible people like your dad (and marabeth). who is going to kill me for writing that.
2. that some clever person is going to start advertising on the MOON. well i saw an ad for 'full moon' ads and there was an image of an image being beamed (by laser i assume) onto the moon. if i understood the ad correctly you could pay to promote your service/product on the moon. i thought this was cool for about two minutes and then realized i'd be more than a little annoyed if the beautiful moon was covered with ads. so i'm hoping i misunderstood the point of the billboard.
3. i really am so lucky to have the job i have. as i sat a few rows from the stage watching the phenomenal morgan freeman in 'the country girl' i said a silent prayer of thanks. because honestly, this is a dream job for me. working in the theater, in the arts industry is so perfectly aligned with so many of my passions. i remember the first play that i saw, and the first that i acted in. both left huge impressions on me and cultivated a love for the stage that has never lost its novelty. i know that many people work just for the pay check, it's a means to an end and that's it, so i'm not taking for granted the fact that i truly enjoy my job and how lucky i am to be working hands on in an industry i love so much.
4. i keep unintentionally comparing new york to nashville. which i know isn't fair. so far here is the running tally:
- good lattes are easy to come by in this city. new york 1 - nashville 0
- new yorkers have no problem walking right into you and scowling as they elbow you in the ribs. new york 1 - nashville 1
- street fashion here is amazing. i keep wanting to stop people and take their pictures new york 2 - nashville 1
- but then i realize they are too cool and too busy to oblige, whereas in nashville they'd be gracious and flattered. new york 2 - nashville 2
- walking in new york is essential. i'm lucky to find a sidewalk in nashville. new york 3- nashville 2
- driving in new york is basically asking to die. new york 3 - nashville 3
- new york doesn't sleep so there is always something to do. new york 4- nashville 3
- nashville on a week night is a sleepy village but that means you don't feel lame and like you are missing out on anything if you curl up on the couch with a book. or a dvd. or an art project. new york 4 - nashville 4
so you see, it all evens out. :) not really. but since i have to go back to nashville i am trying not to fall head over heels in love with this city.
5. i'm putting an end to awkward elevator moments. from now on i'm going to think of ways to obliterate those few seconds of discomfort. i don't know what my game plan is yet, feel free to make suggestions.
2. that some clever person is going to start advertising on the MOON. well i saw an ad for 'full moon' ads and there was an image of an image being beamed (by laser i assume) onto the moon. if i understood the ad correctly you could pay to promote your service/product on the moon. i thought this was cool for about two minutes and then realized i'd be more than a little annoyed if the beautiful moon was covered with ads. so i'm hoping i misunderstood the point of the billboard.
3. i really am so lucky to have the job i have. as i sat a few rows from the stage watching the phenomenal morgan freeman in 'the country girl' i said a silent prayer of thanks. because honestly, this is a dream job for me. working in the theater, in the arts industry is so perfectly aligned with so many of my passions. i remember the first play that i saw, and the first that i acted in. both left huge impressions on me and cultivated a love for the stage that has never lost its novelty. i know that many people work just for the pay check, it's a means to an end and that's it, so i'm not taking for granted the fact that i truly enjoy my job and how lucky i am to be working hands on in an industry i love so much.
4. i keep unintentionally comparing new york to nashville. which i know isn't fair. so far here is the running tally:
- good lattes are easy to come by in this city. new york 1 - nashville 0
- new yorkers have no problem walking right into you and scowling as they elbow you in the ribs. new york 1 - nashville 1
- street fashion here is amazing. i keep wanting to stop people and take their pictures new york 2 - nashville 1
- but then i realize they are too cool and too busy to oblige, whereas in nashville they'd be gracious and flattered. new york 2 - nashville 2
- walking in new york is essential. i'm lucky to find a sidewalk in nashville. new york 3- nashville 2
- driving in new york is basically asking to die. new york 3 - nashville 3
- new york doesn't sleep so there is always something to do. new york 4- nashville 3
- nashville on a week night is a sleepy village but that means you don't feel lame and like you are missing out on anything if you curl up on the couch with a book. or a dvd. or an art project. new york 4 - nashville 4
so you see, it all evens out. :) not really. but since i have to go back to nashville i am trying not to fall head over heels in love with this city.
5. i'm putting an end to awkward elevator moments. from now on i'm going to think of ways to obliterate those few seconds of discomfort. i don't know what my game plan is yet, feel free to make suggestions.
Monday, April 14, 2008
climb ev'ry mountain
when i was young my favorite movie was 'the sound of music'. i must have watched it at least 37 times. i didn't really understand all the politics in the story line but i did understand that being sixteen going on seventeen and been whisked around a glass rotunda in the pouring rain was possibly the most romantic thing that could ever happen. i adored julie andrews and her flawless voice and sparkling eyes. i even liked the crotchety old nuns who were helplessly trying to figure out 'how to solve a problem like mariaaaa' because she was such a troublemaker, always coming in late because she was singing in the mountains and woah, she even wore curlers in her hair. yikes.i know every word to every song on the soundtrack. and that means a lot because unlike the rest of the world's population i cannot recite the lyrics to 'ice, ice baby'. what is that song called btw because i'm sure it's not 'ice, ice baby'. or is it? a google search says yes, that is exactly what it's called. okay. moving on.
there is this one track in the movie that the older, wiser nun (reverend mother) sings to maria as she is trying to figure out her path. it's your generic inspirational track. about reaching for your dreams, following rainbows etc. the line that launches her into song is 'when the Lord closes a door, somewhere He opens a window'.
and this is what this post is about. windows. not the literal ones (like the ones in this hotel room that i cannot open even though i'm six stories in the sky so who - other than spiderman- is going to get in through these windows if they were open?) but metaphorical windows (i know, you're thinking 'finally. golriz, did we really have to go through all that - especially the vanilla ice part - to get here?' no we didn't. but it's 6am. i'm in new york city. i haven't had much sleep and so you're getting stream-of-consciousness. apologies).
my life, and i imagine i'm not alone, has had its share of doors closing and windows opening. sometimes the doors creak closed, over time, and gently shut with barely a sound. and sometimes they slam and everything in the room rattles and things fall off the walls. sometimes someone else will be directly involved in a door closing and sometimes i make the choice. but always, in every instant once a door was closed a window did open. i firmly believe we have the choice to seek out that window and clamber through it. and it's not always comfortable. i mean, after all it is a little bit more graceful to walk out of a door, then shimmy out of a window, BUT the important thing is that we still have the option.
and who wants to stay inside when the world is waiting just outside your window?
speaking of worlds outside windows, today i woke up in
Time Hotel in bed with a bright! crimson red! comforter! (and yes, the exclamation marks were all necessary, you'd understand if you saw the room) it looks like an unoriginal valentines day card threw up in here.
i woke up early. traveling throws off my 'i can sleep till noon' habits unfortunately so i stay up too late and jolt awake too early. and then a few seconds later realized where i was. one of my favorite cities of all time. new york. i'm here for work - a broadway conference. lots of shows to see, things to learn & people to meet. on the list of things to do is get lost in east village, find baby cakes bakery, explore the brooklyn flea market, take a lot of pictures (you get spoiled for choice in this city), and lie on the grass in central park and look at the sky. (don't tell me about how dirty central park can be - let me revel in my idealistic reverie thankyouverymuch)
Saturday, April 12, 2008
after spending all night creating playlists and charging my ipod
i got on the plane only to realize i had left my headphones at home! so now i'm on a mission to find the LARGEST headphones money can buy. if you have suggestions let me know.
have you heard?
nashville is getting its own trader joes store soon...they anticipate it will be open by thanksgiving.
i LOVE this supermarket full of healthy delicious treats. mmm. i'm already thankful.
i LOVE this supermarket full of healthy delicious treats. mmm. i'm already thankful.
she sells sea shells
one of the loveliest parts of my job is getting to travel to see touring broadway shows. right now i'm in madison, connecticut for work - tonight we're watching 'happy days - the musical'. yes, happy days with the fonz. that one. i know. stop rolling your elitist eyes :) it's on our season so i need to preview it so i can "market it effectively". you know what else i need? trips to quaint little seaside towns in the northeast. it's so picturesque and pretty. i feel like i'm in a bronte book. even the hotel room is adorable - complete with wrought iron head boards and floral wallpaper AND wireless. that's the perfect combination of 1800's english charm and the jetsons. amanda and i (amanda does PR at TPAC) flew into NYC this morning and rented a car (that sort of looks like a cross between a PT cruiser and hearse) and drove up. the drive reminded me that i love the northeast and that GPS systems are wonderful. we've named ours Maureen. she is a little authoritative/bossy. reminds me to put my seatbelt on JUST as i'm about to do it. like an overprotective parent. i almost want to talk back to it/her.
we had a delicious lunch of lobster bisque and caramelized vidalia onion tarte with goat cheese. mmm. and now i really need to walk along the oceanside.
okay - so i just heard a lot of revelry outside and peered off the balcony to find a bunch of men in black pleather cloaks mingling around. anyone care to explain? i very shamelessly took pictures because i knew you wouldn't believe me if i told you about it and i needed proof.
freckles
i'm finally coming to terms with the fact that they are here to stay. mum, thanks for lying to me and telling me they would fade and disappear one day. :)
Thursday, April 10, 2008
mind watcher.
if you've read 'the power of now' you'll be familiar with eckhart tolle's ideas about the separation between who we are and our minds. i'm not doing any justice in explaining the premise of this book but one of the main themes is distancing yourself from your mind and watching how your mind works.
so every now and then i try to do that. stand back and observe my thoughts. and then i get caught up in the 'now i'm thinking about what i'm thinking about so is this really making sense' conundrum. and then i get bored and i stop.
in the past few moments here are the things that have crossed my mind.
i thought about how someone should come up with a new and improved 'happy birthday' tune so that the outdated and annoying generic version can finally rest in peace.
i thought about how the worst part of the 'happy birthday' song is when you say the name and everyone draws out the syllables differently so it always falls apart at that point.
i thought about the office episode with the joint parties
i thought about how much i love the office
then marabeth texted me and said she was craving frozen yogurt.
i thought about how i want frozen yogurt too.
i thought about how a pink berry franchise would be so successful in nashville
i thought about whether i would quit my job to open a pink berry franchise.
i thought probably not.
i thought about whether i could make my own frozen yogurt.
i thought it wouldn't be the same but i could try.
i decided to stop monitoring my thoughts.
um. yeah. a moment in the life of golriz's mind. apparently not very exciting. thanks for pointing that out to me eckhart.
so every now and then i try to do that. stand back and observe my thoughts. and then i get caught up in the 'now i'm thinking about what i'm thinking about so is this really making sense' conundrum. and then i get bored and i stop.
in the past few moments here are the things that have crossed my mind.
i thought about how someone should come up with a new and improved 'happy birthday' tune so that the outdated and annoying generic version can finally rest in peace.
i thought about how the worst part of the 'happy birthday' song is when you say the name and everyone draws out the syllables differently so it always falls apart at that point.
i thought about the office episode with the joint parties
i thought about how much i love the office
then marabeth texted me and said she was craving frozen yogurt.
i thought about how i want frozen yogurt too.
i thought about how a pink berry franchise would be so successful in nashville
i thought about whether i would quit my job to open a pink berry franchise.
i thought probably not.
i thought about whether i could make my own frozen yogurt.
i thought it wouldn't be the same but i could try.
i decided to stop monitoring my thoughts.
um. yeah. a moment in the life of golriz's mind. apparently not very exciting. thanks for pointing that out to me eckhart.
belated happy birthday dear blog.
unfortunately, i don't usually get around to responding to all the wonderful people that leave little comments on my blog. but i want you to know that they are read and received with so much love. it makes me happy/nervous/curious that people read my random entries. i am so glad to connect with friends all over the world who i adore. i'm nervous that i'm exposing too much of my life for the masses. and i'm curious as to why some people (me being one of them) enjoy reading the (sometimes mundane) menagerie of moments in someone else's life.
i started this blog for several reasons:
a) i had time to fill
b) i missed writing
c) my mum needed constant updates that i was alive and well
d) i wanted a place to store the things that interested me: photographs, art projects, design ideas, frivolous objects that i would one day purchase. etc.
and so began the 'she's only happy in the sun' blog.
the title is from one of my favorite ben harper songs. a favorite because my first 'singer who i want to marry someday' crush was on ben harper and because i am truly happy in the sun. i'm not sure if i'm only happy in the sun, but it is almost impossible for me be unhappy when basking in sunshine. so it works.
the 'four cups of tea' doesn't have a deep philosophical meaning either. it just refers to the fact that i drink a whole lot of tea. and also 'three cups of tea' was taken. :)
so here i am on the back deck of our new little home feeling full. full of gratitude, hope, and the delicious sushi maz and i had for lunch. i'd love to have each of you out here with me on this gorgeous nashville day. i'd make a huge pitcher of limonana (lemons, crushed ice, fresh mint) and blast some cat empire. we would most certainly take "flying" pictures which i would most probably crop, adjust the contrast (much to rachael dere and ryan lash's chagrin), and then post.
late afternoon sunlight filters through the trees and i'm sitting on a blanket that belonged to Q in haifa and was given to me by MM. i really couldn't be much happier. i hope the same applies to you.
x
gol
i started this blog for several reasons:
a) i had time to fill
b) i missed writing
c) my mum needed constant updates that i was alive and well
d) i wanted a place to store the things that interested me: photographs, art projects, design ideas, frivolous objects that i would one day purchase. etc.
and so began the 'she's only happy in the sun' blog.
the title is from one of my favorite ben harper songs. a favorite because my first 'singer who i want to marry someday' crush was on ben harper and because i am truly happy in the sun. i'm not sure if i'm only happy in the sun, but it is almost impossible for me be unhappy when basking in sunshine. so it works.
the 'four cups of tea' doesn't have a deep philosophical meaning either. it just refers to the fact that i drink a whole lot of tea. and also 'three cups of tea' was taken. :)
so here i am on the back deck of our new little home feeling full. full of gratitude, hope, and the delicious sushi maz and i had for lunch. i'd love to have each of you out here with me on this gorgeous nashville day. i'd make a huge pitcher of limonana (lemons, crushed ice, fresh mint) and blast some cat empire. we would most certainly take "flying" pictures which i would most probably crop, adjust the contrast (much to rachael dere and ryan lash's chagrin), and then post.
late afternoon sunlight filters through the trees and i'm sitting on a blanket that belonged to Q in haifa and was given to me by MM. i really couldn't be much happier. i hope the same applies to you.
x
gol
Wednesday, April 09, 2008
for QMN, since i stole his line.
sushi sand or starshine
the room sickly sweet
butterflies cascaded
she feared their spindly black limbs
[I wonder why do we not decide as a collective
whole to call them flutter-by's from this instant on]
[for the same reason the keys on this keyboard
are not in alphabetic order when they easily could be now that no one
uses typewriters]
[and for the same reason America refuses to use
the metric system]
weighted air, laced with syrup
sunlight danced a samba on her new white skirt
and she sat. and she smiled
a shutter let in light. the smile now frozen in space.
she never really stopped smiling
which most would say is a wonderful thing
but not if you knew that the only time she ever feels beautiful is
when she smiles
[stop posing]
[i'm not]
but she is. always
hands trace her face
and then gently tug small leaves out of tangled hair
for all the touch in the world she has received
rarely was it a true caress
[you argued once that the metric system was not as detailed]
[a lifetime of debate is the gift you gave us]
[I'm done with it and giving it back]
fascinated with fingertips always
the whole world of possibility sits complacently within them
creation of art and touch
the only two things that really matter
except for words perhaps
cacophony is a truly marvelous word
[ I think she fell in love with my words first]
[ I think you might be right]
the room sickly sweet
butterflies cascaded
she feared their spindly black limbs
[I wonder why do we not decide as a collective
whole to call them flutter-by's from this instant on]
[for the same reason the keys on this keyboard
are not in alphabetic order when they easily could be now that no one
uses typewriters]
[and for the same reason America refuses to use
the metric system]
weighted air, laced with syrup
sunlight danced a samba on her new white skirt
and she sat. and she smiled
a shutter let in light. the smile now frozen in space.
she never really stopped smiling
which most would say is a wonderful thing
but not if you knew that the only time she ever feels beautiful is
when she smiles
[stop posing]
[i'm not]
but she is. always
hands trace her face
and then gently tug small leaves out of tangled hair
for all the touch in the world she has received
rarely was it a true caress
[you argued once that the metric system was not as detailed]
[a lifetime of debate is the gift you gave us]
[I'm done with it and giving it back]
fascinated with fingertips always
the whole world of possibility sits complacently within them
creation of art and touch
the only two things that really matter
except for words perhaps
cacophony is a truly marvelous word
[ I think she fell in love with my words first]
[ I think you might be right]
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
forty-six things you may, or may not, know about me
1. i am a decent at table tennis. not a pro. no trophies to my name. but i can hold my own.
2. i don't like soft drinks. i hate the fizz. it hurts my throat.
3. i am currently into emeralds, and green in general. my mum just gave me a ring with a huge light green stone. it belonged to her grandmother and was handed down to her from her mother. it only fits on my 'wedding ring' finger. i haven't taken it off since she gave it to me.
4. i love sitting cross-legged on chairs. not to be confused with 'legs crossed'.
5. i'm growing really fond of naps. i think i might start taking one every sunday. i now have the perfect quilt to curl up under.
6. my sister definitely has more style than me and i love to raid her clothes.
7. i like my shower to be hot. almost scalding.
8. i like my tea to also be extra hot.
9. i am an impatient texter. if i send you a text and you don't respond within minutes i'm annoyed.
10. my first bridesmaid experience will be on may 17th.
11. i think cayenne pepper is the ultimate spice, closely followed by cinnamon
12. i used to crave lemons and would peel them and eat them whole
13. i usually have an earl grey tea bag stashed in my bag
14. i always have music on in the car. it used to bother me that my dad played classical music. but now i sometimes crave it.
15. my first dog was a cavalier king charles spaniel we named 'pashmak'. one night he ran away and i stayed up praying he would return. he did return. i was six or seven years old. that is the moment i started believing in the power of prayer.
16. i am fascinated by the things people create.
17. i love bookstores but rarely buy books. it always feels like too much of a commitment.
18. i'm irritated when people talk through movies
19. i used to actually fear driving. i felt like i was holding a loaded gun. i'd have dreams that i'd lose control of the car.
20. i sleep easily in planes. marabeth says i fold up like origami and disappear into my hoodie. i like waking up to find that we are about to land.
21. whenever i'm in a plane i say a prayer during take off and landing.
22. i feel a bit guilty if i don't watch the air crew do their emergency procedure presentation
23. i will never forget that 23 is jasmine sutton's favorite number.
24. i love gadgets. the more buttons and functions the better.
25. i just received a package in the mail that really warmed my heart. three dark chocolate/apricot chunk cookies from new zealand, a book and an album filled with photographs and memories.
26. i have inherited my mother's skill of being able to figure out something to cook with whatever is available in the fridge/pantry. i never use recipes or measure.
27. i haven't had a tv for over a year and i don't really miss it.
28. i do miss curling up on the couch with a good movie though.
29. i still have plans to whittle this summer
30. i am fastidious about washing fruit before i eat it.
31. in my opinion the perfect salad incorporates some sort of cheese and some sort of nut. and the base has to be field greens/spinach not lame iceburg lettuce
32. i think sweet potatoes are underestimated
33. i believe in God and i always have. and i don't think it is just a blind belief.
34. i really want to learn how to play the guitar
35. i don't have any desire to play golf
36. occasionally i have such a strong urge to stand on my head or do a handstand. i did a handstand the other night and flipped right over.
37. i want to pay a reasonable annual set fee and go to unlimited yoga classes.
38. i want to write julie andrews a letter and tell her how much i loved her in all my favorite childhood movies
39. i want a tempur-pedic pillow
40. my afterschool activities included: seido karate, speech and drama, piano, violin, modern dance and swimming.
41. my swimming teacher was missing some fingers on one of his hands. i hated when he touched my arms and legs because of this deformity.
42. my drama teacher would give us lollies as prizes. i have no idea what her natural hair color was, but her initials spelled MAD which i always thought was appropriate. i distinctly remember her telling us that she didn't wear underwear.
43. i told my dad that one of my piano teachers slammed the lid of the piano on my hands because i made a mistake. to this day i can't remember if this actually happened or if i made it up.
44. the only incentive to going to karate lessons was my huge crush on morgan sinclair who was a brown belt. when we would 'spar' i couldn't look him in the eye.
45. i love clever stencil art
46. i wish i still spoke armenian fluently so i could talk with my grandmother
2. i don't like soft drinks. i hate the fizz. it hurts my throat.
3. i am currently into emeralds, and green in general. my mum just gave me a ring with a huge light green stone. it belonged to her grandmother and was handed down to her from her mother. it only fits on my 'wedding ring' finger. i haven't taken it off since she gave it to me.
4. i love sitting cross-legged on chairs. not to be confused with 'legs crossed'.
5. i'm growing really fond of naps. i think i might start taking one every sunday. i now have the perfect quilt to curl up under.
6. my sister definitely has more style than me and i love to raid her clothes.
7. i like my shower to be hot. almost scalding.
8. i like my tea to also be extra hot.
9. i am an impatient texter. if i send you a text and you don't respond within minutes i'm annoyed.
10. my first bridesmaid experience will be on may 17th.
11. i think cayenne pepper is the ultimate spice, closely followed by cinnamon
12. i used to crave lemons and would peel them and eat them whole
13. i usually have an earl grey tea bag stashed in my bag
14. i always have music on in the car. it used to bother me that my dad played classical music. but now i sometimes crave it.
15. my first dog was a cavalier king charles spaniel we named 'pashmak'. one night he ran away and i stayed up praying he would return. he did return. i was six or seven years old. that is the moment i started believing in the power of prayer.
16. i am fascinated by the things people create.
17. i love bookstores but rarely buy books. it always feels like too much of a commitment.
18. i'm irritated when people talk through movies
19. i used to actually fear driving. i felt like i was holding a loaded gun. i'd have dreams that i'd lose control of the car.
20. i sleep easily in planes. marabeth says i fold up like origami and disappear into my hoodie. i like waking up to find that we are about to land.
21. whenever i'm in a plane i say a prayer during take off and landing.
22. i feel a bit guilty if i don't watch the air crew do their emergency procedure presentation
23. i will never forget that 23 is jasmine sutton's favorite number.
24. i love gadgets. the more buttons and functions the better.
25. i just received a package in the mail that really warmed my heart. three dark chocolate/apricot chunk cookies from new zealand, a book and an album filled with photographs and memories.
26. i have inherited my mother's skill of being able to figure out something to cook with whatever is available in the fridge/pantry. i never use recipes or measure.
27. i haven't had a tv for over a year and i don't really miss it.
28. i do miss curling up on the couch with a good movie though.
29. i still have plans to whittle this summer
30. i am fastidious about washing fruit before i eat it.
31. in my opinion the perfect salad incorporates some sort of cheese and some sort of nut. and the base has to be field greens/spinach not lame iceburg lettuce
32. i think sweet potatoes are underestimated
33. i believe in God and i always have. and i don't think it is just a blind belief.
34. i really want to learn how to play the guitar
35. i don't have any desire to play golf
36. occasionally i have such a strong urge to stand on my head or do a handstand. i did a handstand the other night and flipped right over.
37. i want to pay a reasonable annual set fee and go to unlimited yoga classes.
38. i want to write julie andrews a letter and tell her how much i loved her in all my favorite childhood movies
39. i want a tempur-pedic pillow
40. my afterschool activities included: seido karate, speech and drama, piano, violin, modern dance and swimming.
41. my swimming teacher was missing some fingers on one of his hands. i hated when he touched my arms and legs because of this deformity.
42. my drama teacher would give us lollies as prizes. i have no idea what her natural hair color was, but her initials spelled MAD which i always thought was appropriate. i distinctly remember her telling us that she didn't wear underwear.
43. i told my dad that one of my piano teachers slammed the lid of the piano on my hands because i made a mistake. to this day i can't remember if this actually happened or if i made it up.
44. the only incentive to going to karate lessons was my huge crush on morgan sinclair who was a brown belt. when we would 'spar' i couldn't look him in the eye.
45. i love clever stencil art
46. i wish i still spoke armenian fluently so i could talk with my grandmother
latest craze
if you are remotely observant you will be aware that taking pictures while jumping is all the rage. everyone is doing it. you can either keep your feet firmly planted on the ground and ignore the trend or you can jump up and join in the fun. ultimately it's like facebook, you'll dismiss it for several weeks, maybe months and then one day you'll cave to peer pressure and it will take over your life. i for one, no longer have any interest in taking photographs which don't involve meddling with gravity.
Sunday, April 06, 2008
Thursday, April 03, 2008
mayreni khozouei
m2, remember the 'i'm so glad' lists i'd leave on your facebook wall? i think they got me through the better part of a year. reminding myself of all the things banal and big that i was grateful for.
today, everyday lately, i feel this overwhelming surge of gratitude. it's not about the big stuff like health and the fact that i'm living in a country where i have so much freedom. well it is, but what really resonates is the small stuff. like yesterday, sitting in the sun my mum pointed out a lizard and talked about how beautiful it was as it scampers around the wall - it was just a little brown lizard, at first glance nothing special. but with excitement in her voice she talks about the patterns on its back, the way it moves so gracefully. she creates a story about it, gives it a purpose. for as long as i can remember my mum has always noticed the little things and finds so much beauty in them. she is completely enamored with this world that god has created. and it's infectious.
as i was waking up the other morning i heard all my relatives talking about my parent's farm and i listened as mum gave a blow-by-blow account of her mornings, letting out one dog, only to put another in a paddock. then feeding the chickens, the cats, the birds. observing the geese, the fish, the cows. i think of her as a female version of dr. doolittle. she loves animals, nature, people. she has always had a keen sense of the interconnectedness of the world. it pains her if someone else is unhappy. total stranger or closest friend, it doesn't make a difference. she is a born nurturer.
and i think about how growing up i always wanted the 'beverly hills 90201' mother. i wanted the one who would take me and my friends to get pedicures, and be as excited about the latest fashions as i was. the one who would talk to me about boys, spend hours on her hair and make up to look as young and trendy as possible. you know, the 'cool' mum.
but now, i'm so grateful for the gifts she gave me. for the complete acceptance and love she showered on all of my friends. i never felt for one minute that i didn't meet or exceed her expectations. she gave advice but without burdening me. she allowed me to figure it all out for myself and not once have i heard her say 'i told you so'. she loves indiscriminately and that, above everything, was a beautiful virtue to observe.
i love that i can walk downstairs today and hug my mum.
go hug yours.
x
today, everyday lately, i feel this overwhelming surge of gratitude. it's not about the big stuff like health and the fact that i'm living in a country where i have so much freedom. well it is, but what really resonates is the small stuff. like yesterday, sitting in the sun my mum pointed out a lizard and talked about how beautiful it was as it scampers around the wall - it was just a little brown lizard, at first glance nothing special. but with excitement in her voice she talks about the patterns on its back, the way it moves so gracefully. she creates a story about it, gives it a purpose. for as long as i can remember my mum has always noticed the little things and finds so much beauty in them. she is completely enamored with this world that god has created. and it's infectious.
as i was waking up the other morning i heard all my relatives talking about my parent's farm and i listened as mum gave a blow-by-blow account of her mornings, letting out one dog, only to put another in a paddock. then feeding the chickens, the cats, the birds. observing the geese, the fish, the cows. i think of her as a female version of dr. doolittle. she loves animals, nature, people. she has always had a keen sense of the interconnectedness of the world. it pains her if someone else is unhappy. total stranger or closest friend, it doesn't make a difference. she is a born nurturer.
and i think about how growing up i always wanted the 'beverly hills 90201' mother. i wanted the one who would take me and my friends to get pedicures, and be as excited about the latest fashions as i was. the one who would talk to me about boys, spend hours on her hair and make up to look as young and trendy as possible. you know, the 'cool' mum.
but now, i'm so grateful for the gifts she gave me. for the complete acceptance and love she showered on all of my friends. i never felt for one minute that i didn't meet or exceed her expectations. she gave advice but without burdening me. she allowed me to figure it all out for myself and not once have i heard her say 'i told you so'. she loves indiscriminately and that, above everything, was a beautiful virtue to observe.
i love that i can walk downstairs today and hug my mum.
go hug yours.
x
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
amongst the redwoods
i spent this past weekend at bosch baha'i school at the insights conference. breathing in the clean air and standing in the quiet forest, surrounded by these beautiful, statuesque trees, i was reminded of new zealand. i got to spend time with some of my favorite people. refreshing and recharging. i needed this.i think i could easily live in the bay area.
in other news, quilts are underrated. and i've found my dream quilt at urban outfitters.
what else? how about some incoherent babble.
i'm in la
i soaked up sunshine today
and i saw my beloved ocean
i felt stretched thin between family and friends
and the simple desire for a great latte and a nook
with a book
or my journal and a good black pen
hiding behind sunglasses
patience was tested trying to take in everyones needs
and not lose sight of my own in the process
happy to be here but wish it was simplified
sleep feels inconsequential
but i'm exhausted
your hands - strangely cool and wonderfully reassuring
i'm not sure what's next.
and i'm not sure that i'll stand for anything less than earth shattering.
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